153 Comments

Remember that change is constant and never ending. Adaptation is the best way.

Expand full comment

I can honestly say that I only have sheep leaning family members, not my spouse (Thank you Jesus). The only friends I have left AC that were friends BC are shrews that became so at different times and speeds but have arrived in pretty much the same space as I'm in. I find it very hard to make small talk at the best of times so "pretending/self-censoring to get along" is just too much for me. As one person I met AC says, cut the branch off, it's not going to heal. If someone were to reach out to me and sincerely want to know how I am that might work, but even BC most people only asked how you are as a greeting not a true question. So I guess I'm not that helpful. I think had my husband not been willing to look at the hard truth with me, we'd be divorced now. When you know, you know.

Expand full comment
Aug 7Liked by Todd Hayen, PhD, RP

You’re welcome, Todd. I’m glad you’ll check it out - there are some amazing folks in the group and dedicated to supporting each other through these times and still be in service to others in a deeply meaningful way. N Carolina has more shrews than you might think! I have been active in helping develop a community of “awarelings” (my word for us) and we now number about 50 in this rural, mountain area and meet monthly or more for over 2 years!

Expand full comment
Aug 7Liked by Todd Hayen, PhD, RP

Hi Todd - I have been following your substack for awhile and very much appreciate your perspective on our current situation. I’m a psychologist living rurally in the NC Mountains and felt befuddled and alone when the narrative re:C19 rolled out in 2020 and not a single local colleague in my field saw through the psy ops. I wanted to make you aware of a support group for those of us who are shrews in the field called Differently Aware Psychological Therapists. It is out of the UK and meets weekly on Fridays. It is an international group and it’s free. They host an occasional introductory workshop via EventBrite for new folks. The next is on September 15. They also have a telegram channel. They do vett all newcomers to make sure they are who they claim to be. I can give more information and the link to the EventBrite event if you’re interested. I shed shrew tears of joy the first time I connected with these folks from UK, Australia, NZ, Crete, Germany (too many countries to mention) and realized we are everywhere!

Expand full comment
author

It is important for me to say and be clear, my wife is an amazing human being. I love her dearly, she is kind, sweet, incredibly intelligent….I could go on and on. But alas, she IS “sheeplike”….since I know her well, maybe she doesn’t fall into all of the nuances of being a sheep. I do know she believes in the narrative. She believes in being a good citizen, and doing what you are told (although she pays little attention to speed limits on the freeway.)

I am dedicated to her…and will be with her as long as she will be with me…but that is the very thing that worries me…her beliefs do not bother me, not enough to not be tolerant and patient, but I am afraid that MY beliefs bother her much more than I would think they should…there’s the rub. But who knows…again, when the shit REALLY hits the fan…who knows. For now I do trust that her intelligence will come through and she will take care of herself…

But who knows…it doesn’t seem like that is what is happening with most people…

Expand full comment
Aug 7Liked by Todd Hayen, PhD, RP

I’m not really sure how I feel reading all this; a bit ill, actually, because it brings startling reality to the fact that I have settled with living a facade among and placating the sheep in my life. I feel outwardly that I am the one out of place; the odd duck, the weirdo. I feel I’ve been dropped into the wrong movie. Everyone else just wants to live in La-La land, not rocking the boat, pretending everything is peachy. I want to scream so many times daily, “ How can you be so fucking blind, so pathetically complacent? Why doesn’t any of this matter to you?!” And yet, I’m sure they feel as helpless as I do. What’s the point of talking about something we can’t effect?

Even my conservative friends don’t want to talk about it. Instead they focus on the cute antics of their grandchildren. Grandchildren I know we’re leaving to the wolves. But I end up being the pariah for mentioning anything, ever, at all. I can’t be me, I can’t express my true feelings. I have to go along with the meaningless surface drivel about absolutely nothing important.

My semi-sheep, closet conservative, partner is French Canadian and does not ever want conflict, (is this a normal trait among the FCs?) especially with his super-sheep family members. Again, I’m the outsider and he cautions me constantly about saying anything about the news. Even though he watches the controversial stations, he knows I read voraciously and I believe he knows I’m knowledgeable and right about much of what I try to tell him that the infotainment want address, but I see that he rolls his eyes and tries to change the subject most times I try to discuss topics in more depth. He’s a conservative when it comes to his business activities, but I really consider him a RINO; he would never stand up for conservative principles for fear of looking bad in front of others. It’s all about preserving his image among those with whom he wants to fit in with. I see this attitude as indicative of the sad shape we’re in in this country, overall. There are no revolutionaries who will stand and fight to preserve our freedoms today; they all assume someone else will do the dirty work and save their butts when it all hits the fan. They don’t want to stick out, be labeled “right-wing” or MAGA. It’s depressing and most days I feel emotionally and physically defeated. I find little joy in life amidst all the pathetic apathy. I feel like I’m just going through the motions of a fake life. I feel I’m simply living out a sentence until I’m either thrown in jail or shot for my my beliefs. And perhaps that would be a relief. It would end the play-acting. No one really cares anymore. They just want to go to cocktails and dinner and chit chat about nothing. Like everything’s fine. For now.

I can’t get excited about traveling as I’m terrified a plane will fall out of the sky when a pilot strokes out in the flight deck. I don’t want the hassle of traveling abroad and running into the vax-passport Gestapo due to some recently changed border rule. It’s just really taken all the wind from my sails. I feel like I’m treading water. I can’t un-know what I know. I can’t just let it all go and live in ignorant bliss. I’m drawn into reading more; it’s addictive. I know I’m clinically and chronically depressed but all the therapists seem to be liberals or at least have to adhere to the mainstream dogma of rainbows and Unicorns . I don’t know how to find my joy anymore. What’s there to be joyful about? I know cognitively that God will reign supreme in the end but I’m not sure I’m cut out for the continuous bullshit and struggle until that day of reckoning. I don’t tolerate stupidity and incompetence well. I’m constantly amazed at how truly disengaged in life people are. I know I should love the sheep as Jesus would and shine his light of truth on the world, but my batteries are depleted. I want to subscribe to “we’re all one as God’s children” but I just don’t think I can take much more. I must be an alien; from a distant planet that doesn’t fit in this game board. Am I the only one? Hoping sleep silences the frustration for awhile.

Expand full comment
Aug 7Liked by Todd Hayen, PhD, RP

Sometimes I wonder if the sheep are still sheep because their social status or their financial status is a direct result of the slave system and illusions that we live under. Why would they reconsider their version of reality, if it is working for them? Most of the staunch sheep that I know would have to surrender a significant amount of power and social status if they had to acknowledge that allopathy is just witchcraft and government is just theatre. Their subconscious has already seen where waking up will take them, and they don't want to come here with us, who can blame them?

Expand full comment
Aug 7Liked by Todd Hayen, PhD, RP

ok. next question. how many folk have dialogues in their heads?

Expand full comment
Aug 6·edited Aug 6Liked by Todd Hayen, PhD, RP

I feel like it is me against the world usually. My Wife and adult children are all sheep.

I tried to teach, question everything GOVT does. The corrupt Education system stole my

Family.Thankfully, God restored my ability to love and forgive.

I refused to allow my wife to get vaxxed. I advised the kids wait and see first. No need to hurry.

Good advice ignored. Will I outlive my children?

Your article War of the Worlds is first rate!

Every day is tough. My faith helps me cope. I believe the shrews are less than 5% of the US.

Sad to say, not near enough people have moved from World A to World B.

Expand full comment
Aug 6Liked by Todd Hayen, PhD, RP

This should be interesting.... I can't wait to read all the comments!! My husband and I are on the same page.. so I am thankful for that. I don't believe I could handle being married to a sheep.... would probably be ready to leave.

Expand full comment
Aug 6Liked by Todd Hayen, PhD, RP

I'm a super shrew and married to a semi-shrew. He didn't get taken in by any of the Convid stuff and wasn't the least bit tempted to take the jab just to fly or go to a restaurant. However, he had and continues to have very little (if any) patience when it comes to discussing any of it. I have no idea how far down the rabbit hole he has ventured but am quite sure he hasn't gone nearly as deep as I have.

I know I am very fortunate but it has still been very difficult because I always felt that I *should* be able to share podcasts and articles with him but he was not interested. I was thankful he would don the face diaper in order to buy groceries when I refused, but part of me saw him as weak for doing so. Even now I have to go to a different room to listen to podcasts even if they have nothing to do with Convid because he associates everything I listen to with that horrible time. To his credit, he has gone along with my Plan B program and I'm thankful for it.

So all in all I have had it better than most, but still hated that I couldn't bitch and moan with him when I thought our disgust with everything that was happening should have brought us together. It did drive a wedge between us but as things have improved for us dissenters so has our relationship. Over the 3+ years of madness I have become much better at self-censoring, even with shrews who just don't want to talk about it all. I think we've all had to hone our self-censoring!

Expand full comment
Aug 6Liked by Todd Hayen, PhD, RP

Some comments I read over here saddens and horrifies me. I thought that I went through a mental hell of the plandemic times(not regarding my other half but the state of madness in general) but some people had to live with realisation that the madness is in their homes, sleeping next to them.

Expand full comment
Aug 6Liked by Todd Hayen, PhD, RP

Hey Todd,

Great topic. As I've stated here before, I am definitely a shrew. My wife is definitely a sheep. But she is a sheep who does read, just that it is mainstream sources like the New York Times, the Toronto Star and the Guardian. So she *thinks* she is well read and understands everything. But I have given up trying to make her see that she only understands what they want her to.

We have stayed together through all this because we both tend to avoid conflict and have a "live and let live" attitude. I know she is not happy that I refuse to follow the script. I'm not happy that I can't have meaningful conversations with her. But I decided a while back that I would rather have someone with me as we approach the apocalypse rather than be alone. There are still days where I question that decision however.

I know it's not my job to convince anyone of anything. All I can do is to let people know where I stand when they ask. Once they know, if they are curious they can always ask more questions. If not, they are free to do whatever they please.

Early on, I would cringe when we watched certain things. I found myself watching a lot of the late night shows to see their perspective on the ever maddening world. But then I started to realize they were part of the propaganda. So I stopped watching and after awhile she asked me why I didn't watch those shows and I just said that I didn't think they were funny anymore (which was true). The other day, we watched the new Jim Gaffigan special (and I truly don't recommend it because we both thought it wasn't funny). He started out wearing a mask, then made some very crude comments about "anti-vaxxers" but it didn't rile me up as much as it had done a few years ago. I thought if they keep carrying on like this, it might just wake up more of the sheep out there who would start feeling uncomfortable about it.

Anyway, that is where I'm at. I just wish there was some way to get the shrews together but if it was too obvious, then undesirables would descend. Maybe we need some kind of secret hand signal or handshake or wear a certain kind of shirt. I'm open to ideas.

Expand full comment
Aug 6Liked by Todd Hayen, PhD, RP

What can I say, my other half is a shrew and not an ordinary one but a crazy (in a good sense) one :)

Back in 2010, she told me to look up at the sky and explain what those long lines were.

I thought that she was crazy but then I noticed them everywhere. That's how I started my journey down the so-called rabbit hole.

I think, without her, I would have been caught in the nets of the evil system many times.

Sometimes she drives me crazy but I always will be grateful for her that she has kept me sane in this insane world.

Expand full comment
Aug 6Liked by Todd Hayen, PhD, RP

Well, I was hoping to hear from from shrews married to sheep in the comments (I particularly appreciated Nathan's comment). Because I truly, truly don't know how to survive this. Covid completely destroyed my narrative and ripped everything to shreds. I married out of a patriarchal (and by that I mean "Father is God in the home") ideology, very much as a means of escape, though I'd never have admitted it back then. He's a gentle man, but there has always been a deep lacking between us. In my pride, however, I never could see it. Because my "victim of patriarchy" narrative had to be right. I had to have made the right choice. I had to have married the perfect man for me. Yet a year or so before covid I sat that man down and said "I feel like there's nothing between us but the children, and when the kids are gone, then what?" He said, "We don't need to worry about that." And then covid. And. Then. Covid. And not just covid. It started before covid, really. It was the "no more babies", then covid, then the defense of trans terminology and the obliteration of the feminine in the birthing world (I am a doula - crushed on every level). He's always played the "devil's advocate" and I realized he just was the Devil's advocate. And it took covid to destroy my pride, to destroy my narrative, to clearly see my role in the entire thing. So we co-exist. We're co-habitating co-parents, but there's nothing there. He's not someone I want to be friends with even, and he's never made any effort to really know me (computers are easier - he's a programmer; women aren't, artistic women even less so). Any attempts I made at showing me views were met with Politico articles. And then it all breaks and he said "Let's do therapy", but what he really meant was "Something's wrong with you, let's fix YOU." Nevermind that I've been visiting therapists of varying modalities off and on all along, meeting with mentors, close friends, my pastor, my family (whom I was restored with during all of this)...and him? Nothing. No one. He listens to his BBC, got jabbed because microsoft told him to even though he works from home, drinks his wine, eats his ice cream, watches netflix almost every evening, goes to "men's nights" where they talk about literally nothing personal. Him, and many of my friends, very much fell/fall into that very intelligent, but angsty christian/"social justice" world, and it was just crazy how they all fell for it...some even double masking when the single masks didn't work.

I wish I had advice. I realize I am just blabbing here. I'm someone who loves writing poetry (and boy has all this provided fodder for the musing!) so this word vomit I am writing is slightly offensive even to myself. I homeschool, he works from home, we're never more than 20 feet apart almost all the time, and I'm exhausted at the Nothingness. There's no depth, there's no relationship, and the worst of it is, I don't think I even want it. And yet...and yet I don't believe in divorce (particularly not for a differing of opinions). And I sit and feel my fertility fade away with the children I'll never have (and I wouldn't even try if he said yes...I can't risk that, I already have one special needs child - which is a whole other factor in all of this).

I know...I KNOW that God is something working in all of this (at the very least, He is in my heart, even if I am tormented daily). I KNOW He can make good of even this. His Word and his promises are my very life. And even if that is the only thing that comes of this, then this was worth it.

Expand full comment
Aug 6Liked by Todd Hayen, PhD, RP

I went from married to single during the plandemic, complete with court delays that lasted from three to six months, "because of connid." My ex-sheep did everything in his sheepish power to burn himself into my memory during those three years.

Before the divorce was finalized, I had to retrieve personal items from the house I had lived in for a few decades where my ex sheep and his young ewe had resided ever since the day that I left.

My return to the house was an event that the ex sheep had been dreaming of for months. Of course everything that I was there to retrieve had already magically vanished. The ex-sheep desperately wanted all five-two, one-hundred-fifteen-pounds of me to do something threatening so that he could cry wolf. The whole day was booby trapped with passive aggressive landmines for me. I had been given clear instructions, multiple times, that I must wear a mask to enter the premises, this was on a court document that I had to sign.

When I walked through the same door that I must have entered no less than ten thousand times before, there was a full display of sheepish trust in “authority” The “patriotic” fervor (thank you government PsyOp) and dutiful slave mentality required of all good sheep were readily apparent.

The entry way looked like a surgeon’s prep station. There was a bench just inside the door completely covered in opened economy boxes of masks, rubber gloves, alcohol swabs, and spray pumps of rubbing alcohol, along with a half gallon pump of hand sanitizer. The matching set of clear plastic face shields were a joy to behold. I’m sure that they are eating dinner in them to this day.

Those people, I mean sheep, are living an existence that demands that they battle the angel of death all day every single day of their lives. Their survival requires that they obey the television, and fear everyone else, including each other.

It’s possible that I’m just too lazy to be that paranoid, but then again, I read the vaccine inserts for Pfizer, Moderna, and J&J early on in 2019 and a fifth grader could have seen their vague verbiage and the obvious inconsistencies between their claims and their data.

I made several trips past that sanitation station in my old entry way that day. It was a great comfort to me. Even though I had wasted decades of my life trying to make peace with someone who couldn’t make peace with himself, a new ewe had taken my post. She was proving herself completely worthy of the endeavor.

The divorce was finalized at the end of 2020. Coincidentally the first round of Pfizer shots became available that same week. As you can imagine, my ex pulled strings with medical friends to cut to the front of the line in front of the elderly to get his injection. Good for him!

He was a trim person who had exercised regularly and had eaten the organic food that I prepared for the decades. In 2021 he had a heart attack followed by an angioplasty procedure. In 2022 he married his ewe and had a second heart attack that same month. Then he had a failed angioplasty procedure. I didn’t get all the details but apparently whatever they put in his artery to open it up got stuck and clogged it up worse instead. Then there were a few months for him in bed waiting to see a surgeon but then he had a successful triple bypass, and all is well now!

I am a bit gun shy about the dating scene, the first thing that I’ve noticed is that everyone in it has gotten so fat and wrinkly since 1984. Actually, after fifty the dating scene is OVER. Whatever is left out there is still available for a reason, me included.

Statistically, somewhere in those leftovers there should be a few genuine kind people and there are. But among the genuine kind people who might make excellent companions the vast majority of them are sheep who will be needing a young ewe to care for them when their heart attacks start. The tiny handful of shrews that could be fun people to hang out with are at home, like me, doing the math on their prospects and deciding to practice piano, grow their garden and find some cool places to hike or fish, instead.

Expand full comment

I have a friend who is married to a sheep wife. She had made plans to get their kids Covid vaxxed. He normally just lets his wife make the decisions on kid things. But he fought very hard to prevent his kids from getting that shot, and he prevailed. I admire him a lot for that. For myself, I thank God that my wife is a shrew. I can only imagine what circle of Hell it would be for me if she wasn’t, especially as we have young kids.

Expand full comment
Aug 6Liked by Todd Hayen, PhD, RP

Thoughts for dealing with sheep....married 58 years next month to a shrew.

1. Be kind, and never try to teach sheep to sing. You will frustrate yourself and annoy the sheep. Even St. Paul gave up on some individuals.

2. Focus on one important thing at a time and let that fact sink in. Many sheep require baby steps.

3. Remember that we are not fighting sheep per se. "We wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places." Ephesians

4. Be compassionate. If God has awarded you with insight and intelligence above others, use it for good and for the protection of helpless sheep.

5. Finally, be strong in the Lord and of good courage.

Expand full comment

Basically, she knows how I am 🐁* and I know how she is. 🐑 Neither of us will change. Too set in our ways. But we both know that, so no problem. However when the SHTF, she 🐑 will probably come around!!!!

* ( closest thing to a shrew emoji I could find )

Expand full comment

Nope............whole family on the same page.......we learned long ago..............The family that prays together, stays together. Covid never stood a chance.

Expand full comment
Aug 6Liked by Todd Hayen, PhD, RP

One thing I've noticed is that the Covid divide has been used not only to justify any existing animosity. but to further it. A kind of "Hmmph! I knew he was weird" kind of thing. What gives me a little comfort is in looking back at them and thinking, "Hmmph! I knew you were stupid." So, I guess I'm guilty of escalating the animosity, too.

Expand full comment
Aug 6Liked by Todd Hayen, PhD, RP

There is no one in my circle that thinks like I do. I have felt very much on the outside and if I didn't have faith in my ability to analyze information from many sources, I would probably agree with them that I am just weird and a conspiracy theorist. But I DO research - intensely - and they don't. Most don't even read .books. They refuse to believe that life isn't just normal the way it has always been and that those in power just might not have their best interests at heart. It's just too terrifying and unthinkable. They need life to feel safe and normal. They need to believe that all people are "good at heart". Some are too emotionally fragile, some have too much ego, some are too busy. I remember the shock to my own paradigm when I learned something "different" Its always easier to say that I am nuts than to change and learn something scary - HUGELY SCARY. So, I don't even try any more. I think I shall always feel deeply alone. It is very upsetting after 49 years to fully realize that your life partner isn't who you thought they were. We were never faced with such a situation before, but it's too late for us. Todd, when I first heard you on an interview a few years ago - Jerm - when you asked what happened to your fellow liberals that went along with the official narrative, I felt so much relief that people like you are out there. It's nice to know. And I have hope that there are more people like Kennedy who have the energy and position to keep working for truth. I have to find comfort in Nature and all things beautiful.

Expand full comment
Aug 6Liked by Todd Hayen, PhD, RP

it wouldn't work for me. i took it all way too personally. i'm unable to forgive or forget. i have a friend who resisted the jab and is married to a full on CBC/ratchel maddow-ite. he slinks around terrified of upsetting her. not a great look. i can't imagine living with someone you're scared of. life is way too short for that nonsense. fortunately the hobbit kept a degree of sanity although she was badly frightened. one day she was wiping her mom's groceries down with the poisonous towelettes and looked at me saying "i know i'm crazy but i'll get over it". pretty awesome. then when it started to feel like they might start going door to door i suggested she might have to go to her mom's because it would get ugly if they rang the doorbell. she instantly said nope i'll stay beside you. so i'm very fortunate. more than i deserve.

Expand full comment
Aug 6Liked by Todd Hayen, PhD, RP

My husband passed away 15 years ago and over the last five years I often wondered if our marriage would have survived. 3 months after we were married he was diagnosed with terminal cancer. When we met I was a 45 year old liberal jewish girl from Brooklyn and he was was a God-fearing Catholic conservative from Texas. He opened my eyes to so many misconceptions about conservatives but on many levels I was still a sheep. My life long friends were all sheep. He didn’t fit in and it was torture. I learned to stay away from certain subjects. I chose not to engage. But something happens when you know your time together is short. You let opposing opinions slide. I did my best to choose to be happy... it no longer mattered if I thought or knew I was right. We didn’t have much time.

I wish he was here to see who I’ve become. I wish I could look him in the eye and beg his forgiveness for not supporting his opinions in private and in public. I know now how hard it must have been for him.

I believe the sheep will eventually wake up as I did. Patience and love will get you through.

Remember, God closes one door and opens another... even though sometimes it’s hell in the hallway.

Expand full comment
Aug 6Liked by Todd Hayen, PhD, RP

The sheep and shrew marriage portrait is my ALL TIME favorite illustration to your articles Todd….it has brought me joy in a worrisome day! Thank you! Too too fabulous!

Expand full comment
Aug 6Liked by Todd Hayen, PhD, RP

I'm married to a fellow shrew. Since we owe our relatively happy adult lives to each other, I don't agree the single are the sanest, necessarily. Although that can be true. Advice? Easy, don't settle and hope to get lucky. I was 29, she was 23, both been through numerous relationships that ranged from tolerable to pretty good, but you have to remember - is this someone I want to spend my life with? Well, in our case, it was love at first sight and we never had a reason to reconsider. I knew I never wanted to let her go and she felt the same. If you're wondering whether he/she is the right one, you've already answered the question - and it's no. HOWEVER, if you find yourself approaching middle age and still haven't run across Mr/Miss sensational, what can you do? Either settle or resign to living forever alone. That's where the luck is so important. And remember, you're looking for sensational, not perfect. You aren't perfect either. And if your mate is sensational, he/she knows that too.

Expand full comment
Aug 6Liked by Todd Hayen, PhD, RP

there's plushie shrew dolls?

Expand full comment
Aug 6·edited Aug 6Liked by Todd Hayen, PhD, RP

You'll never break through to a sheep if other sheep are present. They will take play devil's advocate on any issue whatsoever just for the sake of opposing your view - especially if you're known to be the "conspiracy theorist" and there is already some division from Covid stuff. Maybe you're trying to get through to them on the trans movement, or climate boiling, or 15 min cities, or CBDCs, or transhumanism. Whatever it may be, it works best when you have them one-on-one. Ask lots of questions, elicit *from* them what they already probably know through process of elimination. Find what they are unsure of or even remotely dubious about, and lean into that.

E.g. Someone in UK says that excess deaths are due to NHS delays from being overrrun, lockdowns, leading to misdiagnoses and cancer rates increasing. You can entertain their argument that whilst that *could* be true in the UK, it does not hold up because cancer rates and excess deaths are up everywhere in the world, and those other countries do not have an NHS. Different healthcare systems, but outcome is still massively increased excess deaths.

Try not to offer opinions (even well researched credible ones) on the *why*. They'll ask why why why are "they" doing this? Say you don't know, but you lay it out for them with the *what* is happening that is evidential. For if you blurt out the *why* on global enslavement / depopulation etc, you might lose them. Unless they are really curious, in a non-combative, non-condescending inquisitve manner, you might offer something like "well there is a wide consensus that this is happening because XYZ".

It's more effective to invalidate their regurgitated narrative soundbites through asking questions and drilling down into the dogma and the official stances, until they are simply refuted by facts and what has come to pass - rather than ranting at them, preaching at them. Don't blast them with links afterwards via message, you'll lose them. Wait. If after a few days / weeks they come back to you and have obviously been researching whatever you talked about, ask more questions.

Slowly slowly gently. Elicit, don't explain.

Expand full comment
Aug 6Liked by Todd Hayen, PhD, RP

I sincerely hope everyone can come to an equitable solution.

Fortunately for me, I don’t have this problem but I’d just like to make a suggestion that I try to apply when mingling with those of opposing views.

Whenever issues are particularly triggering i.e. based on fear and manifest in emotional reactions, I avoid the issue entirely. I try to discuss confidence building and emotionally reassuring topics – to reinforce our friendship and to respect their fundamental value as a human being. These qualities are more important than differences of opinion, especially when I know their opinions are fear-based and installed into them by malign sources.

I certainly don’t wish to add to their fear by insisting that what they believe (and is temporarily supporting them) is false, thus adding to their fear. When fearful one can’t absorb new info. as one’s defences are up. Anyway, in time, hopefully, when the triggering issue is fading, defences can be eased and a more accommodating atmosphere will allow a more civilized conversation.

For those who are just plain enjoying their aggressiveness, I divert the topic away from the triggering but onto a related issue to which they are unlikely to have constructed a defence. For example, with the ‘pandemic’ I muse on the withdrawal from the Gold Standard in the early 1970s and the subsequent financial mismanagement that has led to unpredictable events and panicked reactions.

Ha, ha.

Blessings to you all.

Expand full comment
Aug 6·edited Aug 6Liked by Todd Hayen, PhD, RP

I’m not married, but I deal on a daily basis with sheep, whether they are family, friends, acquaintances, or mere people I meet in everyday life. I recognize two kinds of sheep: the ones that are intrinsically ignorant, but not totally stupid, and totally used to follow orders no matter from whom they come, and the sheep that, in spite of being more or less educated, are so strongly manipulated and conditioned by the establishment that are absolutely unable to see beyond the mainstream rules, and these are a totally lost case.

The first ones are easy to deal with: depending on their level of understanding, sometimes it is possible to talk to them and to expose some crucial lines of thought. Some of them, if explanations are sufficiently simple and logic, are willing to listen and I’m sure they give it a second thought.

The second ones are, in my opinion, the true sheep. They follow, they obey, they blindly and irrationally defend the indefensible. It’s of no use to debate with them. Their minds are crystalized, solidified. Their education taught them to dogmatically accept whatever is politically correct and no argument, as smart, rational and senseful as it can be, can move them from their dogmatic ideas. These sheep are the favorites of the global elites. They were educated to obey, not to doubt, question or investigate.

So, regarding the first ones, if I see they present a breach through which some reasoning can slip to, I do talk to them and debate until some light is brought about. With the second ones, I refuse to debate. It’s totally useless. In this case I prefer to say loudly “You’re right” and think to myself “You’re an idiot”. I know this sounds pretty ugly, but three years passed, my patience is at very low levels...

Expand full comment
Aug 6·edited Aug 6Liked by Todd Hayen, PhD, RP

Hey Todd. You just brought a topic that has been a mystery to me for these three years. I know you have talked about your "shrew-sheep" relation quite frequently. I am very confused when I see a couple out in the street, and one of them is wearing a mask and the other is not. What is going on with these people? Fortunately, I can say that my dear wife is not a sheep. She is very much aware of all the fallacies that we have discussed so much. The only issue I have had to deal with her is that - as a coleague physician - she has been very careful not to "antagonize" or "offend" other doctors, and has influenced me about the same. If it were not for her, I would certainly had been much more vocal calling other doctors for the absurdities they have allowed our profession to promote (diagnose a "covid case" with a laboratory test, "asymptomatic transmission", quarantine healthy people, count a "covid death" by a pcr result, mRNA "vaccines"...). If it were up to me, I would have called almost every fellow medical doctor and ask: Where in medical school did you learn that crap? When did you order in the past a laboratory test for an acute disease to an asymptomatic patient? When did you ever fill a death certificate based on a laboratory test?... My dear wife has led me to keep a civil relationship with other physicians, although I am so dissapointed in them. I look forward to reading comments from people who are in shrew-sheep relationships.

Expand full comment
Aug 6Liked by Todd Hayen, PhD, RP

Fortunately my husband is a shrew and so is one of my four daughters... thankfully there's a level of familial sanity for me!

Expand full comment