40 Comments
User's avatar
Brent Calhoon's avatar

Oof! I so agree. I hate no one. Here’s the but: until consequences return to those who do stupid things, there will be no meaningful conversations. We have entered deep into the realm of luxury beliefs where people who produce nothing have jobs funded by producers (and future producers via debt). They have no incentive to discuss anything. Because doing/producing nothing works supremely well. And the prospect of that ending is not something they wish to explore.

Expand full comment
Todd Hayen, PhD, RP's avatar

Hate is a strange word...in our culture, it seems to define many different emotions...I think the emotion that most people feel when they say they "hate" is not the same emotion that others feel. I hate peas mixed in other foods (I like them by themselves!) but my word "hate" is not really the right word. "Dislike" is more like it...

I do think it is important these days to be careful with this word. The sort of hate I am seeing with people who hate Trump is more than my hate for peas. It is a pathological sort of hate. We see this on the left with things other than hate for Trump. I believe it is a break from "normal health"...in fact, I am having a tendency to blame it on the vaccine, which seems a bit too convenient, and I have to do more research to officially take this position. I am seeing a more pronounced loss of empathy with my psychotherapy clients these days...but I can't be certain it is really any different than it was before the vaccine rampage. But I think it is. This loss of empathy could be the cause of the pathological hate we are seeing.

Expand full comment
Tiny Shrew's avatar

How dare you to dislike peas mixed with other things!

Expand full comment
Brent Calhoon's avatar

Love your insights! And I agree with your point on hate vs dislike. I think the seed of hate is fear. Fear is usually the consequence of not knowing or understanding something (in today’s case many things of nearly anything). In my personal experience, few understand much of anything, including people in specialized professions (having been in one for 30 years). It became so bad that I “retired”.

Expand full comment
Todd Hayen, PhD, RP's avatar

Absolutely, the seed of hate is fear. Even if we determine the hate is a projection of shadow material in the hater (which most people would say is what it is), it is the FEAR of the shadow that creates the hate.

Expand full comment
Brent Calhoon's avatar

In that regard and in my own experience integrating my shadow (is the process ever complete?), the shadow is our soul trying to express itself. A teacher of lessons ego is reluctant to learn. Easy to say; way harder to overcome the fear of flowing vs controlling.

Expand full comment
Candy's avatar

Dog fights are spectator sports where the creatures who will not be harmed by the violence watch the battle between those who will.

Dogs are taught to fight. They have no concept of win or die. Every moment is the only moment. Past pain becomes instinct, not memory. That’s why dogs are naturally happy when left to themselves-there is no worrying about the future.

Our society is being taught to fight.

But we are not dogs. We understand that the battle means death. If we don’t die, someone else will.

We remember the past and worry about the future.

We ask our dogs, “Don’t you remember what happened the last time you did that?!?” No, they don’t.

The question now becomes, why do people choose to go on as if nothing has happened? Are we becoming animals? And, can we be taught to fight?

The concept of forgiveness used to be considered a sign of strength of character. Forgiveness is now seen as a sign of weakness. It’s all connected, I think. Turn forgiveness into something to be avoided, and teach to fight without reason

Expand full comment
Todd Hayen, PhD, RP's avatar

Very well put, Candy...I am reminded of a quote...

"It is easy for me to imagine that the next great division of the world will be between people who wish to live as creatures, and people who wish to live as machines." ~Wendal Barry

Not sure why I thought of that after reading what you commented here...but I did.

Expand full comment
Candy's avatar

I just read this-

Before you embrace the person who sets you free, remember who locked you up in the first place.

Brian Lenzkes, MD

Expand full comment
StellaMaris's avatar

The Public Debate About Covid-19 Vaccines Ended During the Biden Years, and Healthcare Professionals Led the Withdrawal

"Startling paragraph in a news story today, and pay close attention to the really telling number:

Around 44 percent of people aged 65 or older received a COVID-19 vaccine in late 2024 or early 2025, according to CDC data. About 14 percent of adults aged 18 to 49, 13 percent of children, and 10 percent of health care workers received a vaccine during that time."

https://chrisbray.substack.com/p/the-public-debate-about-covid-19

Expand full comment
Betsey's avatar

I fault the media for much of the hysteria on the left. Last week, a friend stopped by all worked up, stating, "Do you realize what a BAD person Charlie Kirk was???!!!" (Not vaxxed. normally a loving and kind person.) I was stunned by her conviction as I was still reading articles about him, his views that had been changing, etc. I know she "gets her news" from NPR, carried by our local Low Power FM station. Totally emotionally worked up from listening to "public radio"!!!

Expand full comment
Todd Hayen, PhD, RP's avatar

Yes. Regarding Kirk...I have heard over and over again from people on the left how horrible a person Kirk was. I made it a point to look and listen to as many of his broadcasts as possible. I have no idea why people have labelled him "bad" "hateful" "ugly" "horrible" "racist" "misogynist"...I can't see it at all. I am not in 100% agreement with him, but I don't think he had a nasty bone in his body.

Expand full comment
Libertarian's avatar

This seems timely because at today’s Mass the gospel was the parable of the Good Samaritan. The priest pointed out how the Samaritans were despised as the bad guys (eg today’s Left to today’s Right), and often misjudged, but on this occasion when colleagues were passing buy the man in need, the Samaritan stopped to mend his wombs and carry him to an Inn for further care.

Expand full comment
Tiny Shrew's avatar

What a great comparison,

Expand full comment
peggy bean's avatar

I couldn't agree more. "They" want us to hate each other instead of fighting them. We have more in common that not. I always remember, left wing, right wing, same bird!

Expand full comment
MRF's avatar

I correlate hate to a primitive, unthinking threat response that impairs higher reasoning. Perplexity.AI credits Mark Davis as asserting "Trump hatred makes smart people stupid; Trump hatred makes nice people mean", and Salena Zito asserting that Trump supporters take him "seriously, but not literally," while Trump's opponents take him "literally, but not seriously."

Hatred seems a lens that biases perceptions to reinforce confirmation bias. The same might apply to Hitler supporters and leftists, i.e., their perceptions are distorted by hatred that makes them stupid and mean.

That correlates to the aphorism that hatred is like drinking poison expecting the hated people to die. Hence the heuristic to forgive.

Expand full comment
Todd Hayen, PhD, RP's avatar

Exactly right.

Expand full comment
Paulus's avatar

In my experience so far, these honorable and reflecting writings come always from people who van be 'categorized' on the right. So far I have never seen or heard this coming from the left, and that is what makes this so difficult for me. In dutch we have the saying; goed voorbeeld doet goed volgen (a good example, creates good follow ups) but in this case that remains to be seen.

Expand full comment
Todd Hayen, PhD, RP's avatar

I agree with me. My argument in this article could be a total pipe dream. Unfortunately, I believe this civil war may just have to "be"...I think WE (shrews) are willing, it is the other side that isn't...although "coming together is essential" I do not believe we should drop one iota of what we know as truth in our effort to "come together"...we just can't give up on them, and we must focus more on the things we have in common, most essentially, our love for each other, and the fact we are all in the same fundamental tribe—the human race.

Expand full comment
Paulus's avatar

this begs the question; are we indeed still from that fundamentally same human tribe, or have the jabs of the past years created a less related human kind with a continuously widening gap? Hopefully sincere love and compassion will nevertheless be able to bridge differences.

Expand full comment
Tiny Shrew's avatar

I find the possibility of the vaccine changing people’s mental state too terrifying to contemplate.

Expand full comment
Todd Hayen, PhD, RP's avatar

I'm afraid this may be true...God have mercy on us. If the vaccine have indeed removed human empathy, then we have become a race of Frankenstein's monster.

Expand full comment
StellaMaris's avatar

Leaving the Left: 10 Prominent Figures Who Ditched Marxism To Follow Truth

The guides we most need now are the ones ignored by teachers in today's ideologically captured systems.

https://wokewatchcanada.substack.com/p/leaving-the-left-10-prominent-figures

Expand full comment
Hellish 2050's avatar

The left want to make "Islamophoba" illegal.

I am getting my "Islamophobia" written down now, before such writiing becomes illegal.

Hopefully the law will not be applied retroactively!

https://hellish2050.substack.com/

Expand full comment
Todd Hayen, PhD, RP's avatar

I hope people check out your substack! Thanks for coming on board and sharing...

Expand full comment
FortheLoveofFreedom's avatar

I'm not sure what it will take for things to come back to more centered. As long as people are respectful, I enjoy discussing topics but as soon as they become loud and try to outrun what I have to say, I think the conversation is futile. We have lost our ability to discuss things reasonably. There is so much political posturing on one hand and screaming tactics on the other.

Expand full comment
Todd Hayen, PhD, RP's avatar

No matter how controversial a subject/topic can be, if anyone succumbs to fear, anger, contempt, etc. It is a clear departure into psychological weakness...a "complex" as I would say in my practice. A mature, healthy adult should never "slip into complex" and "react" in this contemptible way.

They are not healthy (although there are always topics that cause most people to slip)...considering what we are talking about here, there is nothing going on that warrants people to be incapable of discussing these issues in a healthy, rational way.

Expand full comment
Paving the Way's avatar

I see many people on the Left as dangerous, deluded, narcissists with institutional power.

Expand full comment
Todd Hayen, PhD, RP's avatar

Yes, I think many people are as you describe. Obviously, we have to be careful who we try to engage with. I am primarily talking about family in my article, and one by one, we might be able to establish something beyond argument.

Expand full comment
Gwyneth's avatar

J. Krishnamurti once said, “The ability to observe without evaluating is the highest form of intelligence.” It is ego identification with one's thoughts that fosters so much hate and violence. To exist in a state of intuitive discernment without judgement fosters serenity and a detachment from one's thoughts and opens the door to loving one another.

Expand full comment
Tiny Shrew's avatar

So well said!

Expand full comment
Todd Hayen, PhD, RP's avatar

Exactly.

Expand full comment
Gwaihir's avatar

When normal discourse has devolved into “Don’t say anything that I don’t like”, discourse is dead.

Expand full comment
Todd Hayen, PhD, RP's avatar

That's how it is now, but the plea is to change that, and unfortunately, most of the change has to come from the left.

Expand full comment
StellaMaris's avatar

My husband and in-laws, niece and most of my workplace are left.... and I almost left a few times during COVID....and then Trump, and then Trump, again and then elbows up, and then and then.... let me tell you, there is a fine line between love and hate and I came very close too many times to mention.... when I get gaslight, and called a right-wing conspiracy theorist on a daily basis, they make it easy, let me tell you..... I get it... I am still here and try to feel bad for them but it's lonely in my house.

Expand full comment
Tiny Shrew's avatar

I am so very sorry you are experiencing such isolation. I have a shrew brother who makes all the difference in my feeling pretty much ok. However most others in my life are on a different path.

Expand full comment
Libertarian's avatar

Well, in Whoville they say – that the Tiny Shrew’s small heart grew three sizes that day!

Expand full comment
Todd Hayen, PhD, RP's avatar

On another topic...since you are very close to some of these people (husband, in-laws, etc.) I wonder if you give any credence to this idea (scientifically made by doctors and scientists) that the vaccine alters personality, brain function, empathy, etc. ...??

Expand full comment
StellaMaris's avatar

I have provided and offered this info and still I get told that the consensus/majority of drs believe in vaccines and they do more good than harm.... anything that is not on mainstream media, or gov't websites or their dr's advice is right-wing extremism/anti-vaxxer status.... this has torn a big rip in my marriage so the pain is real and ongoing.....

Expand full comment
Tiny Shrew's avatar

I will never understand why there is such closed thinking with all of this . It makes no sense to me.

Expand full comment