I will speak only for myself here because I am sometimes quite weird, and many of my feelings and emotional responses to things seem entirely unique in some way. I will share this with you just in case some of you might be realizing similar things. I feel like I have glaucoma of the spirit and the world is slowly fading away. The worst part of this is I don’t really care. I am obviously angry about what is happening in the world. I spew out all these words about it in my articles. I am in the game, engaged, willing to work hard to do my part. But my personal world is fading, and again, I don’t seem to care. Anyone else feel the same way?
It feels like I live in a Twilight Zone episode. We have a small cabin in Minden on a lake. I have known most of the neighbours for decades and last year was absolute vaccine apartheid. They wouldn’t speak to us and avoided us like the plague. They all got together for social events and we were left by ourselves - absolute scapegoats. This year, even though vaccine mandates are dropped and everyone can freely associate, they still avoid us. So now the bandwagon concept is fully active. They are part of the vaccinated tribe and to be the one to break that and talk to us, probably feels too dangerous. They had to avoid us last year because the TV told them we could kill them, and now if they included us, they would have to admit that they were wrong. But that would make their behaviour inconsistent indicating that they were crazy -and we can’t have that! So they keep the psycho drama going. They would rather be stupid than feel stupid.
Also, we attended an amateur production of Mama Mia in Bancroft the other day. It is a very fun show, but I was choking back tears just experiencing how much of the normal joy of life has been destroyed by the luciferian death cult that seems to run the world. The world feels like a cosmic madhouse.
I have to say creating this substack is the best thing I’ve done during this crises. The wisdom of these comments and the threads of familiarity with the experiences of you and other people sharing here, fellow shrews, have created a unity awareness in me that is priceless. I knew all this in a broad way, but to hear the specific details of individual lives has a power of confirmation and connection for me that I cannot describe…
Your comment about Mama Mia is priceless in its insight…my sister and I who is a shrew as well have watched every musical we can think of for the very experience you present here…not to feel sad, but to touch again that “feeling” of “normal life.” It is something that cannot be described in words…and of course musicals are not the only way to touch it!…I know exactly what you mean when you describe that feeling…thank you so much for sharing this…
I believe most shrews have similar experiences and feel more or less the same. Like Mark, who posted before me, I also lost my job for not being "vaccinated". Most of the friends and activities I have lost have not been because they "explicitly" told me I was "unclean"... but there is an implicit fear of socializing, going to places... Like you, Todd, I have lost a lot of interest in going to concerts, restaurants..restaurants, etc even after they have become "less restrictive".
As other people have commented, and you comment here...what I am feeling is not unique to me, and believe me, knowing that gives me quite a bit of strength....Thank you...and again, if we stick together, I do believe we will get through it. I do believe if all of us shrews lived in the same vicinity we would recognize this phenomena and would make it a point to get together, go to concerts together, have meals together...and much of this would be supported. Now, all we can do is discuss all this together, and Shrew Views is one place we can do that. It isn't a lot, but it is something...
Aug 31, 2022·edited Aug 31, 2022Liked by Todd Hayen, PhD, RP
"...if all of us shrews lived in the same vicinity..."
You know what? I hope I don't sound "racist" (because I am not), but I have imagined a world segregated by shrews and sheep. Communities of sheep would live wearing masks, getting boosted every 6 months, social distancing, testing their noses every week, and getting COVID all the time. Communities of shrews would live normally, as we did until 2019, and occassionally get sick with all the diseases that have affected us forever... except covid.
That is a completely rational, and positive, "fantasy"...I believe until the world melts down (assuming it will sooner than later) I think that ideal will be accomplished...to a degree. And I think it will be a solution to keep us sane. As I am sure you know, it will not be sustainable. The "sheep world" will eventually self implode...they will all eventually die, and before they do they will send marauders into ShrewLand to harvest body parts and organs to sustain their dying numbers. The elite may intend for the sheep to die, but they will also not want the shrews to live...so they will do what they can to eliminate both worlds (although they don't have to do much to eliminate the sheep). (Of course, the shrews will make the best slaves, so we have to wonder if they have their eyes on us for that eventual purpose.)
I'm afraid the only way for this sort of thing to work is to just start from square one. Old Testament style. BUT...there IS a chance if it gets bad enough the sheep, most of them, will recognize their psychosis and join the shrews, then together they wipe out the elite, and create a new "thought form" (egregore) of "good energy"...and live happily ever after...
BTW, I am working on an egregore article...and will credit you for exposing me to this information and idea...unless you don't want me to!! Let me know...
You asked if others felt as you. Yes, it's as if taste for life has become stale and not worth the chewing. I practiced medicine for 32 years and in Feb was fired for not vaxxing or wearing a mask. Cold fury is hard to swallow.
Aug 31, 2022·edited Aug 31, 2022Liked by Todd Hayen, PhD, RP
Mark. I believe I know how you feel. I am also a medical doctor. Worked primarily as an educator for 34+ years. Fired from the university in January for not being "vaccinated".
I cannot imagine what you must feel. I am lucky in that regard. My profession has not been disrupted by "authority"...I am pretty certain if it were I would bail the authority because I can do what I do more or less in another capacity that doesn't require licensure...would lose a ton of money, but I will find other income streams (and I am old so don't have to stretch it out for too many more years!!) But to face what you have had to face...all of you facing such things are the true heroes and my heart goes out to you. True heroes...
Me too Todd.. although Stratford is up and running, and I used to go regularly, when I read “we respectfully request, in order to protect the actors, you wear a mask” I loose all interest. HOWERER, a friend went recently to see Hamlet and tapped her neighbour on the shoulder to ask if he minded if she didn’t were hers, to find him also barefaced!
I don't even want to go if they don't make you wear masks...hopefully over time this will change, but I think we will be back into the mandates before it has a chance to.
You are not alone. Although this is the most meaningful event of my life, it has erased so many other forms of meaning that I too float through the days like a ghost. Often now I forget what happened, in a very cursory way, but enough so that when I start to berate myself about my isolation, the memory of the world returns like a small comfort that then pierces the heart.
I think a sense of betrayal is at the root of my own reluctance to "rejoin" society, as well as the frequent need to stand sideways and pretend to be part of the program. I always thought that in some sense the Spirit could act through institutions, and be aligned with various creative endeavors. Now I harbor no such delusions. My God turned out not to be one of compromise.
I know no one in person who shares my views -- not that I know of, anyway. I am haunted right now in particular by the absence of my former best friend who joined with the other people in our social circle to ostracize me for my position. He has moved to a new house and I am afraid I have taken to driving by it when I am out, and wondering what was amiss in my mind all those years -- my notion of what it means to love someone, or what people need to stay sane. The word that comes to my mind regarding the shrew position is anomie...perhaps it is time to revisit Camus. We must somehow find meaning. Please do keep sharing your experiences.
Thank you for sharing this beautifully written expression of what so many of us are experiencing. I think the “sense of betrayal” you mentioned describes a base feeling I have had through out this crazy time. I truly cannot understand why friends who are well read, wise, aware of the news…are not running in the streets with signs about the basic injustice that has been placed on the unvaccinated. I have been stunned. I have been able to keep most of my friends…they are not “offended” by my decision to be unvaccinated, and we can have some discussion on the subject without upset. However, as far as their speaking up for me or outside our circle as to the injustice…that does not happen. As far as I understand they believe that the mandates, etc. are acceptable. So then I do debate…to I keep these people as my friends. Is my best friend who no longer speaks to me because of this choice more honest…? I don’t know. I am rambling but let me conclude with once again stating how much I appreciated your remarks above.
This is beautifully written Jennifer, thank you for this. You describe my own feelings very well. Betrayal is definitely an important word in this experience.
And I do believe many many many feel the same way you do. We must stick together and interact with one another...the isolation is what is going to take us down if anything does...
My situation is similar. No real friends left-- real in the sense of true, and also meaning 2D+, although I truly value those online and not-yet-met personally.
Those with whom there was interaction and history seem to be reporting from another dimension now, similar to this one but lacking in detail, texture and perceptual depth. Or that’s how I see it. Curiosity has been trained out of them, very fine filters installed, and everything said is non-essential. That’s me being intolerant. I’m really not interested in being around them.
Either, I should say, since there aren't any invitations.
What has shocked me most is the “I do not want to know” attitude of my peer group— professional communicators with epic world experience within the concrete silo of contemporary art practice. The entire professional scene is overwoke, obsessed with self-image, careerism, identity politics and begging for stronger censorship laws against right wing racist delusional antivaxxer bigot idiot science deniers like me.
Glad this is the private space.
For decades I engaged in sociopolitical topics with installation and performance works.
PANOPTICON, a dance/audiovisual collaboration at the Winchester St Theatre in Toronto, was a response to 911. I used a video system borrowed from a shopping mall to cover every part of the theatre with surveillance cameras, projected live onto screens, TVs on-set, the performers… A soundscape rotated around the room— even under the seats--from speakers everywhere. Choreography for 12 dancers by Bill James. And so on. I’m still proud of it. It had great reviews in major outlets, was rated in the top 10 theatre events of the year, and everyone, forewarned, went home and got on with their lives...
I moved to the East coast after several more shows because I could see and feel it all worsening, had lost any thoughts of making a difference, and wanted to hunker down with people who knew what bullshit was and how to live without it. Covid showed I was a bit delusional about that, as it turned out; the recalibration is ongoing.
All that to say that expanding effort to influence, to help, to alter what looks inevitable unless more wake up is exhausting, and the dull feeling one has when the response is inaction, silence, or fear— anger, derision, diffidence and that whole spectrum— the sane response is to shut down and regroup, whether the impulse is rational or instinctive.
I don’t care if I ever make another work or do another show, or talk to another artist or even see another gallery or theatre. Not caring is quite liberating. It's the serenity prayer --the wisdom to know the difference between what can and can't be changed.
I’m really enjoying reading essays and articles, listening to talks and interviews, and communing on substack. Maybe that’s weird, but that’s the way it is, a bizarre situation, and, although I’m still attempting to withold belief from the idea that the sky is falling, I’m spending more time filling pantry shelves with home grown condiments (whatever happens, there will be pickled beets) (with rosemary and juniper berries) than art work.
I can’t stop being, thinking, doing, but there is no longer an outlet for my output unless I’m willing to self-censor, recant and inject, OR build some independent way and means, which is such a fun and crazy idea I’m considering building a sculpture to live in my house because I’ve assembled most of the materials and why should I stop because they aren’t interested? Belligerence can also work for you.
It is all fairly hilarious if you can, even momentarily, get irrationally Buddhist about it.
In Buddhist practice, it’s all an illusion and compassionate detachment is sublime. All those things are true.
Oh my gosh another beautifully written inspiring comment…just read Jennifer’s above. I am on the edge of tears. You described the behavior of people so perfectly. It has truly been a total shift in how I connect…or not connect with my friends and family. That point you made about their response of “I do not want to know”…where is that coming from? I cannot fathom why regular debate on a subject is no longer acceptable. It is so isolating. Your former work is incredible. And it sounds like for now you are creating in new ways. I wish you the best. Thank you very much for your thoughts…means so much to me.
Thank you so much, Tiny Shrew. Your thoughts mean much to me too.
The willful ignorance expressed by those I know is, I guess, a way of declaring boundaries around what they know they can tolerate, and eliminating all inputs from outside that line keeps them certain, which seems to be a definition of sanity.
So well put...do you not have a substack account where you can write? I hear you regarding a shift in how we see the world and how we adjust to it. It is different, but not lacking a creative activity, reading, writing, staying within a small "friend group"...maybe connecting only online. The spirit is like the little plant that grows up through a crack in the pavement, it can't be squelched entirely. But it IS trying and difficult, and feels sad and "lost"...
I really appreciate the touchstones offered here, Todd. I've been keeping myself over-busy to feel some accomplishment in the big huge malaise, keeping notes.
Some of your posts lead me to revisiting and reprocessing experiences of no great interest to others, but personally helpful in that breadcrumb trail way… Here’s one:
I had, and probably still have, friends in Ojibwe communities on Manitoulin, people who honour their traditions and heed their elders while also living in constant negotiation with entwined idiotic beurocracy and corporate greed. That’s a 500-year-long essay in itself.
This is a mere mention of a traditional teaching describing a long and truly dark and difficult time out of which enlightenment will come. Those I knew thought that since genocide, colonial oppression, residential schools, and so on and on was the darkestand most difficult time in their collective three thousand year memory, better times lay ahead.
What was most surprising to me was their appreciation, in retrospect, of the reservation system, which I thought was horrific and oppressive. It was, and is in many ways, they said, in isolating them into tiny allotments, but it also preserved the seed of their culture, which sustained them through the worst times. They were resolute in their power. I hope that continues to be the case.
Now it’s our turn to suffer such cruelty, and the takeover techniques have improved to the point of invisibility. It’s fascinating to observe, and identifying it is undoubtedly listed in the DSM in the paranoia section. I don’t want to look that up, but suspect that a few around me have, just to be sure my derangement has a label….
I feel sad for those who have been enticed and sold.
I feel sad for the loss of assumptions that supported my sense of well being.
Also grateful for getting through it so far, finding others in a community of like mind, and probably more certain than ever that I’m not betraying my own soul one bit.
No one here is. That is our strength. That is our power.
We must keep reminding ourselves and each other of that.
What brilliant insight...thank you. Human beings have a resiliency that is rather remarkable. It left unconscious it can harm us as well as help us...can harm us only if the oppression we face is intentional from an oppressor--if organic, we can go into psychic hibernation and will come out on the other end somewhat whole.
As cliché as it sounds, I do believe faith in some sort of "higher power" and avoiding isolation is the key to getting through it. The higher power part isn't even essential because it is built in (we are always connected whether we know it or not). But the isolation is something "they" clearly want to have happen, for all of us. Social connection is definitely on the chopping block and it affects all of us...online schooling, zoom sessions for every sort of gathering imaginable, "work at home/hybrid office time" etc. etc. Humans have always sought out physical "mingling" and preferred it over "televised" gatherings. Well...that is definitely being eroded, and we are buying it just like we bought eating poison at McDonald's---instant gratification, its easy. blah blah blah...
I may be going out into the weeds commenting on your excellent post...sorry. I will leave it at that. Thank god we have people like you...and like all of the shrews on this substack. It sure is easy to know what team to belong to. We may all be huddled together one day in the metaphoric bomb shelter (well, who is to say if it will be metaphoric) but at least we will be together.
Anyone out there know morse code? We need to know how to stay commented when the internet is only accessible to those vaccinated...
Aug 27, 2022·edited Aug 27, 2022Liked by Todd Hayen, PhD, RP
I feel mostly the same as you here. Maybe even worse. I lost any purpose in life since months if not years. But for sure since the "convid" hysteria started I feel like I'm dead inside without anything that could improve or help how I feel about it. Seeing what the world outside had become makes me sick. Not only the convid crap shit, but everything that turns around. People just took back their lives just like nothing happened and with everyday a tiny bit of their freedom getting away, like a grain of sand getting away into the wind that is soon becoming a storm. But they don't see it. They don't give a shit about it. We are crazy because they don't want to ear about our warnings. We are fools. I don't want to see these people anymore, just acting like puppets unaware of the reality of the world they're living in (they seem to love that life anyway). Well, I never was a very sociable person, I never felt at my place in this society, but since 2 years, I became completely unsocial. I stay home doing my stuff without any purpose, just waiting time to pass and the end to come. Most of the time I wish I'd never awake on the mornings. What for? Why would I want to wake up? We're clearly entering a dystopian era in the total indifference of the masses. Everything is under control, laws, duty, mandatory, prohibited. Cameras are everywhere. After all, if we have nothing to hide, why would we care (irony)? The trend is now to be vegan, to drive a trottinette (Not sure the English word here?? Google translates this by "Electric scooters"), to be a climate goer, a tolerance goer (while spitting on those who thinks otherwise), spitting on white straight men (we are responsible of all the misery of the world. Some loves to flagellate themselves) and so on. If we drive our car, we are ashamed by the community, we are destroying the planet, same goes if we use a plastic bag and a plastic drinking straw (carboard straws are so "great". Joking, it's awful). I live in Brussels and believe me, you don't want to go here anymore. Please, tourists, don't come here anymore, the city is dead, nothing attractive here anymore, they killed it during the past 5 years. When I see what they did to my city I want to cry. Car is banished, they almost grow beets on the streets... when you're not hit by a trotinette around vegan shops. They cut the trees for the climate (!). We are guilty, we are infantilized. Well, that's all for now. People hate me because I'm always so "negative". But how could you be positive when you see what the world is becoming outside? To me, it's like a awakened nightmare and it's getting worse everyday. I am an hypersensitive person, so I feel things deeper than anyone else. And this is becoming unbearable. To my opinion, the asocial medias have a great responsibility for all of this shit. They're all like junkies unable to stay away of their phones taking selfies and photos of their diner while creating insane polemics for someone that didn't fart the proper way. Those people are the "normal" people now. I want to puke. I feel stuck, I suffocate without any chance of getting outside of this. Phone-like technology is killing humanity. The covid didn't kill me (Yes, I had it, not much of a big deal...) but the convid is killing me day after day.
I am so very sorry about what we all are experiencing. I want to say something positive but I would sound to trite and patronizing. I think the only thing I will say is that you are not alone. Because there are like minded people…shrews…here is hope. There is strength in that. Well, I tried not to sound trite but sometimes the truth sounds that way.
It is true. God commands that we be the bright light in the darkness; worry and lamenting and being depressed is “sinful”. I am not a religious person, but as a spiritual being I see his word laid out to us (by us) in ways we best understand. The objectives of the game we created. I believe we are each infinite expressions of divine energy and thus “we” are the light of the world (made in his image). The word “Sin” is used, I believe, to encourage us, as our human beings, not to be a part of that which will not serve us and thus prevent us from bringing the hope of divine expression into a dark world. We created our self-expressions with free will and we created our “rules” as guidelines our human minds are capable of comprehending and these are the true methods by which we bring our message of hope and love forth. I don’t mean to be all woo-woo here; that is not me at all. For me, and I was raised in a southern Christian atmosphere, I quickly realized “God” is the collective energy and power of all of “we”. “He” is not some celestial being we’re earning the right to join with someday if we’re good. We create everything we manifest and experience through our thoughts. Thought creates everything. And look around. Look at what we have created. Who else could have done it? Where are “they”? No, I believe we purposefully experiment with the dichotomy of the created human experience game; we are all the game masters and created light and dark and up and down, positive and negative, to pit against the other in this massive game to see how long it takes us to remember of what we are truly capable and who we are. Only we, the universal energy, driven by our thoughts, can render the outcome we want, which I believe is ultimately reconnection to our selves as one divine, pure thought. So to worry is pointless unless that’s the role in the game we choose to play. To be depressed merely keeps us separated from our one true self. It’s heady stuff but I can’t find another explanation. We can, through the mere changing of our thoughts, change our experience. Collectively, by waking other parts of our “self “up, can add to this collective thought and thus the manifestation. It is not us against them, but us together that will be our “re-membering” of our single self. It’s tough to stay focused on this simple concept amidst the chaos of our human condition, which again, we created intentionally, but I believe that is the key to the end game. We must reunite our perceived, separate selves to our single true self. In this is our power over evil, which we also created for the game. “We “ are obviously in such need of entertainment - I believe this isn’t our first “board game experiment” - that we really created perhaps the ultimate challenge for ourselves and “we” can’t wait to see how it turns out. Cue the popcorn!🍿
There is always room for positive observations...one I do not hesitate to say is that I am certain this will evolve into a very loving and positive and "good" place...there is no doubt...it just may take a while!
As dark as this description is you really summed it up well!! It is horribly sad but what you say here is the way it is many places, and becoming that way in many more.
We do need to stick together and not let is bulldoze us...meet with friends, talk with friends, avoid electronic conveyances, etc. Isolation is the killer. I do not know if there is anyone out there (I'm sure there is) that lives in a house with someone on the other side of the fence. It is doubly difficult to then mingle with people of like mind, or to go to rallies and protests, etc.
Please keep meeting here, no matter where you are in the world, at the very least we all can throw thoughts, feelings, ideas and hopes around...it isn't much, but it is something...
Thanks for the comment! (I love the word "trottinette"!!!)
Unfortunately I do not have friends anymore, just like many here as I read it. I have nobody to talk to, except my therapist that I see twice a month (and he's been on holidays all the summer). My only relations left are a few people on internet and it's very superficial and then a few superficial acquaintances too. And there's my 80's old mom which is super depressed too and that depresses me even more (and stresses me with a touch of guilt). The few people that I tried to suggest to meet for a drink or anything, they always have an excuse to turn me down. Always. My Youtube channel may have 24 000 followers but that's just plein superficial. Having 24 000 people following your work but being completely alone, would you believe this? This is the sadness of this "multimediatic" era. I met a few people at protests here, but I never succeeded to socialize with them. There was a girl there that I liked very much and tried to socialize with her. It worked a bit, we exchanged online and over the phone for quite some time but she never wanted to meet me outside of the protests... turning me down all the time I suggested it. And then she suddenly stopped to write me or even answering the phone. So now, I focus on my music edits, that's mostly all I do at the moment and what's left.
I pretty much hesitated to comment here because reactions of others (much especially on internet) stress me and anguish me. Most of the time people distord and interpret everything from their own fantasy/point of view and it turns crazy most of the time. So, I avoid the max to take part to any discussion online anymore or even to give any opinion or ask something (yeah, even that, people take it badly for some reasons of their own).
I'm sorry to hear how you're struggling! I just wanted to say I think you put into words beautifully what a lot of people, myself included, have been feeling. Given your background, Im sure you know all the cliches and solutions to try to ignite the fire of your soul... so all I wanna say is your Shrews support you !! Don't let "the machine" swallow you from the inside out
That is so kind Carlos...thank you...same goes to you! One day the ring and its curse of power and the renunciation of love will be destroyed, Valhalla will burn making way to a new life of love and spiritual peace. Heady words, but you know what I mean.
I think you can edit...let me check...yes, once you save a comment click on the three dots..."Edit Post" should be the first choice...but this choice may be timed and might go away after a few hours...
I’m north of the border in Penticton for Ironman tomorrow. If you were here coffee would be on me and I would try not to say repeatedly how honored I would be to meet you.
I get the graying out of what once was so enjoyable, and the incarnation reference to a right on. I’m a police officer and have had to take away liberty but always!!! For a reason based on actions. The person took what didn’t belong to them, hurt someone, drove drunk or high (usually both) and so one. Proper policing is always action based with the goal being a change of behavior. That’s how it’s supposed to work in my book at least. When because of actions a persons liberty is taken away they have the physical restraint of handcuffs, the physical presence of an officer or correctional officer watching them, the reality of being in a building with doors and locks they do not control.
A great crime has been committed against rank and file humans. For no illegal actions on the part of the citizen, our freedom to go and do has been revoked. It is temporarily returned but the cognitive dissolve begins with knowing those who caused it still “rule” and I say that because of our assumptions of our elected leaders carrying out a temporary job of stewardship and service has been betrayed, and they are still in power so how can we go back to a normal that didn’t really exist? We took the normal that should be for granted, we have to make sure somehow it is upheld by new people in power before any return to feeing normal.
Also, the incarnation double take. The prison was our own home, our own electronic communication device, and the discovery how deeply open to being mislead our own family members and friends are. Any relaxing return to “normal “ must instead be looked up as guarded vigilance. Celebrate the shrew community you have closed to grow. Look forward to it growing more still. Hold out hope and love for mislead friends and family but a YouTube video on Dietrich Bonhoeffer’s theory of stupidly suggests that only the mislead can let themselves out of the prison they are in.
Keep your light on air, it shines farther and upon more people than you realize.
I am overwhelmed this Sunday morning reading all of these responses. I feel so much better reading words that make sense, that describe this challenging situation so beautifully. Wow your comments are right on the mark. I am having tears for the third time this morning …sorry, I am a mush ball. Thank you for the words. Yay, Shrews.
The honour would be mine meeting you!! Thank you, that was a very meaningful thing to say.
In this current climate I think being a police officer would be one of the most difficult tasks for someone who constellates the true integrated warrior (you!) My heart goes out to you.
Thanks so much for your wise and well thought out words...we need more like you...
Aug 27, 2022·edited Aug 27, 2022Liked by Todd Hayen, PhD, RP
My best friend: maybe talked three times in two years. His sister: I wasn't invited to her wedding.
My parents: My dad won't talk to me anymore. I'm an only child. They moved out of my childhood home last year and wanted me to help. They demanded I get vaxxed. I said no. Here we are.
My circle of friends and colleagues: I'm persona non grata.
Speaking of musical theater: I was staying in Chelsea, NYC (W22nd and 5th) when 9/11 happened. I got on the northbound subway to get to a morning rehearsal in Times Square and wondered why people were on their cell phones. Didn't they know there's no reception down there? I got to rehearsal and saw the second tower collapse.
Corrupt war mongers (who probably captured America in '63) murdered 3000 people on a random Tuesday morning, then killed 3 million Muslims, and then got away with it for twenty years.
But as though that wasn't depressing enough, anybody I talk to thinks I'm crazy lol.
So, yeah, I get it.
BUT! It's sites like yours that make it all worth it. To hear Peter McCullough say "I think there's something wrong with our mainstream media," makes it all worth it. To know that we're living in an inflection point in human history...WOW! I mean, few people would *choose* to go on a roller coaster that will probably kill you, but we were born into this! Not to demean the conversation with a pop culture reference, but there was a great character on the tv show Vikings, who kept going to battles and was depressed every time he didn't get killed. He was very old and just wanted to die in battle to go to Valhalla. But he was too good of a warrior lol. Maybe we need some of that spirit: to know we are on the front lines in a WAR FOR HUMANITY. Bring it.
Perfect...thank you! And thanks for saying nice things about this substack. The goal here is to get as many of us shrews gathered in one place to discuss stuff. I know it is a drop in the bucket, but that is the intention...not just the articles...but the articles to stimulate these sorts of comments. And most importantly, where we are nice to each other!!
My favourite thing about shrews is that we are fairly consistent...for example, I have not heard from a single Covid shrew who doesn't recognize 9-11 for what it was. I am not saying that if a shrew did not see this the way most of us do that they are out of the club...we have room for anyone...but it wouldn't surprise me.
And I believe we are in a place where deep, inward, personal spiritual yearning for truth and meaning in life has been vilified with ideology-defining tribalism, to the extreme on both sides. It’s, in my opinion, the most base form of instinctual survival. It’s certainly not living. How do we return to ourselves, from where the truth lies? When we’ve sunken to the lowest of our animal nature will we lift our eyes and see who we really are?
Such a good point. The spiritual aspect of all this really is at its centre...even the evil energy is a prime player...if not THE player. I am working on an article on the egregore...keep an eye out for it.
I will! I read your SubStack and Jeff Childers, newly updated to “Coffee & Courage”, each morning with my coffee. Neither disappoints in starting my day off perfectly! Thank you!
Oh wow! I thought I was the only alien here! You echo so many of my thoughts and emotions. I don’t even fully trust my thinking at this point; my soul believes I’m on track and aware, but outwardly I feel, based on the feedback I receive from others that my mind betrays “me” and I feel I don’t belong to any tribe of humans at this state in time. This quick explanation is very rustic, I see as I write it, and you may see me as disturbed. I am disturbed. I’m depressed, deflated, dehumanized and totally lonely in my feeling of separateness from those around me. I think perhaps if I were to just stop reading about things, perhaps I could, in time, just roll with the life illusion as so many of whom I term “sheep” seem to do. But my soul knows I can never un-know that of which I’m clearly aware. I tell myself I have no right or authority to believe I’m more aware or informed than “the other side” as they claim I’m a conspiracy theorist and I follow radical idiots. I get the eye rolls if I mention anything I’ve learned. My personal life and relationships have been diminished to speaking only of shallow nothingness; the “shrews” who bought into it and discovered too late their misstep can’t admit it and just don’t want to think about it. And the “sheep” are too invested to even consider opening their eyes and minds and must stay true to their ideological tribe for their survival. I truly feel like I no longer have a place to be.
I do believe that this is a time to go “deeper” into spiritual awareness. I thought at the beginning of your first comments that you were about to go further on this subject. We actually have no where else to go except deeper inwardly! Sorry, I am sounding like I am giving “advice”…gosh no way. I am in such awe of your comments and the others on this page…incredible people all of you. I am so glad I visited shrewviews this morning…I have been away and need to visit more often. Total inspiration.
Your comment here Cyn makes the article I wrote completely worth writing. Thank you...what you express here is EXACTLY what I was trying to say! And it is good for me to hear you say it!
I found this George Orwell quote at the beginning of all of this insanity and it stuck with me.
"Being in a minority, even in a minority of one, does not make you mad. There is truth, and there is untruth, and if you cling to the truth even against the whole world, you are not mad."
In my interview with JermWarfare I remember responding to something Jerm said about "how do we know we are not the crazy ones, the sheep all think we are..." and I commented "because we are right, they aren't." A rather flippant reply, because of course the sheep think they are right too...but that reply is really right on.
I will never believe censorship is right, or the president of the United States lying to us is right, or the Premier of Canada freezing bank accounts of peacefully protesting citizens is right, or vaccinating children who do not need a vaccine that could be dangerous for them is right. I hold onto those things, and logic reasoning says that if these people would do those things they will do other things that are wrong...
Have you ever noticed that whenever there is an argument on the sheep side they never argue with science? But the shrews always do? Science and detail is always part of a shrew position, sheep just attack the messenger, or align them with some ridiculous "negative" like being a republican or liking Trump.
Anyway...I digress. The feeling you describe, and the gist of the article, is not something that can be changed with logic. It is very deep, and I am worried about it...I just suppose it is just something we have to deal with...
It feels like I live in a Twilight Zone episode. We have a small cabin in Minden on a lake. I have known most of the neighbours for decades and last year was absolute vaccine apartheid. They wouldn’t speak to us and avoided us like the plague. They all got together for social events and we were left by ourselves - absolute scapegoats. This year, even though vaccine mandates are dropped and everyone can freely associate, they still avoid us. So now the bandwagon concept is fully active. They are part of the vaccinated tribe and to be the one to break that and talk to us, probably feels too dangerous. They had to avoid us last year because the TV told them we could kill them, and now if they included us, they would have to admit that they were wrong. But that would make their behaviour inconsistent indicating that they were crazy -and we can’t have that! So they keep the psycho drama going. They would rather be stupid than feel stupid.
Also, we attended an amateur production of Mama Mia in Bancroft the other day. It is a very fun show, but I was choking back tears just experiencing how much of the normal joy of life has been destroyed by the luciferian death cult that seems to run the world. The world feels like a cosmic madhouse.
I have to say creating this substack is the best thing I’ve done during this crises. The wisdom of these comments and the threads of familiarity with the experiences of you and other people sharing here, fellow shrews, have created a unity awareness in me that is priceless. I knew all this in a broad way, but to hear the specific details of individual lives has a power of confirmation and connection for me that I cannot describe…
Your comment about Mama Mia is priceless in its insight…my sister and I who is a shrew as well have watched every musical we can think of for the very experience you present here…not to feel sad, but to touch again that “feeling” of “normal life.” It is something that cannot be described in words…and of course musicals are not the only way to touch it!…I know exactly what you mean when you describe that feeling…thank you so much for sharing this…
I believe most shrews have similar experiences and feel more or less the same. Like Mark, who posted before me, I also lost my job for not being "vaccinated". Most of the friends and activities I have lost have not been because they "explicitly" told me I was "unclean"... but there is an implicit fear of socializing, going to places... Like you, Todd, I have lost a lot of interest in going to concerts, restaurants..restaurants, etc even after they have become "less restrictive".
As other people have commented, and you comment here...what I am feeling is not unique to me, and believe me, knowing that gives me quite a bit of strength....Thank you...and again, if we stick together, I do believe we will get through it. I do believe if all of us shrews lived in the same vicinity we would recognize this phenomena and would make it a point to get together, go to concerts together, have meals together...and much of this would be supported. Now, all we can do is discuss all this together, and Shrew Views is one place we can do that. It isn't a lot, but it is something...
"...if all of us shrews lived in the same vicinity..."
You know what? I hope I don't sound "racist" (because I am not), but I have imagined a world segregated by shrews and sheep. Communities of sheep would live wearing masks, getting boosted every 6 months, social distancing, testing their noses every week, and getting COVID all the time. Communities of shrews would live normally, as we did until 2019, and occassionally get sick with all the diseases that have affected us forever... except covid.
That is a completely rational, and positive, "fantasy"...I believe until the world melts down (assuming it will sooner than later) I think that ideal will be accomplished...to a degree. And I think it will be a solution to keep us sane. As I am sure you know, it will not be sustainable. The "sheep world" will eventually self implode...they will all eventually die, and before they do they will send marauders into ShrewLand to harvest body parts and organs to sustain their dying numbers. The elite may intend for the sheep to die, but they will also not want the shrews to live...so they will do what they can to eliminate both worlds (although they don't have to do much to eliminate the sheep). (Of course, the shrews will make the best slaves, so we have to wonder if they have their eyes on us for that eventual purpose.)
I'm afraid the only way for this sort of thing to work is to just start from square one. Old Testament style. BUT...there IS a chance if it gets bad enough the sheep, most of them, will recognize their psychosis and join the shrews, then together they wipe out the elite, and create a new "thought form" (egregore) of "good energy"...and live happily ever after...
BTW, I am working on an egregore article...and will credit you for exposing me to this information and idea...unless you don't want me to!! Let me know...
Yes, of course... my privilege to be mentioned in your egregore article.
You asked if others felt as you. Yes, it's as if taste for life has become stale and not worth the chewing. I practiced medicine for 32 years and in Feb was fired for not vaxxing or wearing a mask. Cold fury is hard to swallow.
Mark Vossler MD
Mark. I believe I know how you feel. I am also a medical doctor. Worked primarily as an educator for 34+ years. Fired from the university in January for not being "vaccinated".
I cannot imagine what you must feel. I am lucky in that regard. My profession has not been disrupted by "authority"...I am pretty certain if it were I would bail the authority because I can do what I do more or less in another capacity that doesn't require licensure...would lose a ton of money, but I will find other income streams (and I am old so don't have to stretch it out for too many more years!!) But to face what you have had to face...all of you facing such things are the true heroes and my heart goes out to you. True heroes...
Keep "the faith" shrew of shrews.
YES!!!!
Me too Todd.. although Stratford is up and running, and I used to go regularly, when I read “we respectfully request, in order to protect the actors, you wear a mask” I loose all interest. HOWERER, a friend went recently to see Hamlet and tapped her neighbour on the shoulder to ask if he minded if she didn’t were hers, to find him also barefaced!
I don't even want to go if they don't make you wear masks...hopefully over time this will change, but I think we will be back into the mandates before it has a chance to.
You are not alone. Although this is the most meaningful event of my life, it has erased so many other forms of meaning that I too float through the days like a ghost. Often now I forget what happened, in a very cursory way, but enough so that when I start to berate myself about my isolation, the memory of the world returns like a small comfort that then pierces the heart.
I think a sense of betrayal is at the root of my own reluctance to "rejoin" society, as well as the frequent need to stand sideways and pretend to be part of the program. I always thought that in some sense the Spirit could act through institutions, and be aligned with various creative endeavors. Now I harbor no such delusions. My God turned out not to be one of compromise.
I know no one in person who shares my views -- not that I know of, anyway. I am haunted right now in particular by the absence of my former best friend who joined with the other people in our social circle to ostracize me for my position. He has moved to a new house and I am afraid I have taken to driving by it when I am out, and wondering what was amiss in my mind all those years -- my notion of what it means to love someone, or what people need to stay sane. The word that comes to my mind regarding the shrew position is anomie...perhaps it is time to revisit Camus. We must somehow find meaning. Please do keep sharing your experiences.
Thank you for sharing this beautifully written expression of what so many of us are experiencing. I think the “sense of betrayal” you mentioned describes a base feeling I have had through out this crazy time. I truly cannot understand why friends who are well read, wise, aware of the news…are not running in the streets with signs about the basic injustice that has been placed on the unvaccinated. I have been stunned. I have been able to keep most of my friends…they are not “offended” by my decision to be unvaccinated, and we can have some discussion on the subject without upset. However, as far as their speaking up for me or outside our circle as to the injustice…that does not happen. As far as I understand they believe that the mandates, etc. are acceptable. So then I do debate…to I keep these people as my friends. Is my best friend who no longer speaks to me because of this choice more honest…? I don’t know. I am rambling but let me conclude with once again stating how much I appreciated your remarks above.
This is beautifully written Jennifer, thank you for this. You describe my own feelings very well. Betrayal is definitely an important word in this experience.
And I do believe many many many feel the same way you do. We must stick together and interact with one another...the isolation is what is going to take us down if anything does...
My situation is similar. No real friends left-- real in the sense of true, and also meaning 2D+, although I truly value those online and not-yet-met personally.
Those with whom there was interaction and history seem to be reporting from another dimension now, similar to this one but lacking in detail, texture and perceptual depth. Or that’s how I see it. Curiosity has been trained out of them, very fine filters installed, and everything said is non-essential. That’s me being intolerant. I’m really not interested in being around them.
Either, I should say, since there aren't any invitations.
What has shocked me most is the “I do not want to know” attitude of my peer group— professional communicators with epic world experience within the concrete silo of contemporary art practice. The entire professional scene is overwoke, obsessed with self-image, careerism, identity politics and begging for stronger censorship laws against right wing racist delusional antivaxxer bigot idiot science deniers like me.
Glad this is the private space.
For decades I engaged in sociopolitical topics with installation and performance works.
PANOPTICON, a dance/audiovisual collaboration at the Winchester St Theatre in Toronto, was a response to 911. I used a video system borrowed from a shopping mall to cover every part of the theatre with surveillance cameras, projected live onto screens, TVs on-set, the performers… A soundscape rotated around the room— even under the seats--from speakers everywhere. Choreography for 12 dancers by Bill James. And so on. I’m still proud of it. It had great reviews in major outlets, was rated in the top 10 theatre events of the year, and everyone, forewarned, went home and got on with their lives...
I moved to the East coast after several more shows because I could see and feel it all worsening, had lost any thoughts of making a difference, and wanted to hunker down with people who knew what bullshit was and how to live without it. Covid showed I was a bit delusional about that, as it turned out; the recalibration is ongoing.
All that to say that expanding effort to influence, to help, to alter what looks inevitable unless more wake up is exhausting, and the dull feeling one has when the response is inaction, silence, or fear— anger, derision, diffidence and that whole spectrum— the sane response is to shut down and regroup, whether the impulse is rational or instinctive.
I don’t care if I ever make another work or do another show, or talk to another artist or even see another gallery or theatre. Not caring is quite liberating. It's the serenity prayer --the wisdom to know the difference between what can and can't be changed.
I’m really enjoying reading essays and articles, listening to talks and interviews, and communing on substack. Maybe that’s weird, but that’s the way it is, a bizarre situation, and, although I’m still attempting to withold belief from the idea that the sky is falling, I’m spending more time filling pantry shelves with home grown condiments (whatever happens, there will be pickled beets) (with rosemary and juniper berries) than art work.
I can’t stop being, thinking, doing, but there is no longer an outlet for my output unless I’m willing to self-censor, recant and inject, OR build some independent way and means, which is such a fun and crazy idea I’m considering building a sculpture to live in my house because I’ve assembled most of the materials and why should I stop because they aren’t interested? Belligerence can also work for you.
It is all fairly hilarious if you can, even momentarily, get irrationally Buddhist about it.
In Buddhist practice, it’s all an illusion and compassionate detachment is sublime. All those things are true.
Oh my gosh another beautifully written inspiring comment…just read Jennifer’s above. I am on the edge of tears. You described the behavior of people so perfectly. It has truly been a total shift in how I connect…or not connect with my friends and family. That point you made about their response of “I do not want to know”…where is that coming from? I cannot fathom why regular debate on a subject is no longer acceptable. It is so isolating. Your former work is incredible. And it sounds like for now you are creating in new ways. I wish you the best. Thank you very much for your thoughts…means so much to me.
Thank you so much, Tiny Shrew. Your thoughts mean much to me too.
The willful ignorance expressed by those I know is, I guess, a way of declaring boundaries around what they know they can tolerate, and eliminating all inputs from outside that line keeps them certain, which seems to be a definition of sanity.
Thank you…so well said.
So well put...do you not have a substack account where you can write? I hear you regarding a shift in how we see the world and how we adjust to it. It is different, but not lacking a creative activity, reading, writing, staying within a small "friend group"...maybe connecting only online. The spirit is like the little plant that grows up through a crack in the pavement, it can't be squelched entirely. But it IS trying and difficult, and feels sad and "lost"...
I really appreciate the touchstones offered here, Todd. I've been keeping myself over-busy to feel some accomplishment in the big huge malaise, keeping notes.
Some of your posts lead me to revisiting and reprocessing experiences of no great interest to others, but personally helpful in that breadcrumb trail way… Here’s one:
I had, and probably still have, friends in Ojibwe communities on Manitoulin, people who honour their traditions and heed their elders while also living in constant negotiation with entwined idiotic beurocracy and corporate greed. That’s a 500-year-long essay in itself.
This is a mere mention of a traditional teaching describing a long and truly dark and difficult time out of which enlightenment will come. Those I knew thought that since genocide, colonial oppression, residential schools, and so on and on was the darkestand most difficult time in their collective three thousand year memory, better times lay ahead.
What was most surprising to me was their appreciation, in retrospect, of the reservation system, which I thought was horrific and oppressive. It was, and is in many ways, they said, in isolating them into tiny allotments, but it also preserved the seed of their culture, which sustained them through the worst times. They were resolute in their power. I hope that continues to be the case.
Now it’s our turn to suffer such cruelty, and the takeover techniques have improved to the point of invisibility. It’s fascinating to observe, and identifying it is undoubtedly listed in the DSM in the paranoia section. I don’t want to look that up, but suspect that a few around me have, just to be sure my derangement has a label….
I feel sad for those who have been enticed and sold.
I feel sad for the loss of assumptions that supported my sense of well being.
Also grateful for getting through it so far, finding others in a community of like mind, and probably more certain than ever that I’m not betraying my own soul one bit.
No one here is. That is our strength. That is our power.
We must keep reminding ourselves and each other of that.
What brilliant insight...thank you. Human beings have a resiliency that is rather remarkable. It left unconscious it can harm us as well as help us...can harm us only if the oppression we face is intentional from an oppressor--if organic, we can go into psychic hibernation and will come out on the other end somewhat whole.
As cliché as it sounds, I do believe faith in some sort of "higher power" and avoiding isolation is the key to getting through it. The higher power part isn't even essential because it is built in (we are always connected whether we know it or not). But the isolation is something "they" clearly want to have happen, for all of us. Social connection is definitely on the chopping block and it affects all of us...online schooling, zoom sessions for every sort of gathering imaginable, "work at home/hybrid office time" etc. etc. Humans have always sought out physical "mingling" and preferred it over "televised" gatherings. Well...that is definitely being eroded, and we are buying it just like we bought eating poison at McDonald's---instant gratification, its easy. blah blah blah...
I may be going out into the weeds commenting on your excellent post...sorry. I will leave it at that. Thank god we have people like you...and like all of the shrews on this substack. It sure is easy to know what team to belong to. We may all be huddled together one day in the metaphoric bomb shelter (well, who is to say if it will be metaphoric) but at least we will be together.
Anyone out there know morse code? We need to know how to stay commented when the internet is only accessible to those vaccinated...
I feel mostly the same as you here. Maybe even worse. I lost any purpose in life since months if not years. But for sure since the "convid" hysteria started I feel like I'm dead inside without anything that could improve or help how I feel about it. Seeing what the world outside had become makes me sick. Not only the convid crap shit, but everything that turns around. People just took back their lives just like nothing happened and with everyday a tiny bit of their freedom getting away, like a grain of sand getting away into the wind that is soon becoming a storm. But they don't see it. They don't give a shit about it. We are crazy because they don't want to ear about our warnings. We are fools. I don't want to see these people anymore, just acting like puppets unaware of the reality of the world they're living in (they seem to love that life anyway). Well, I never was a very sociable person, I never felt at my place in this society, but since 2 years, I became completely unsocial. I stay home doing my stuff without any purpose, just waiting time to pass and the end to come. Most of the time I wish I'd never awake on the mornings. What for? Why would I want to wake up? We're clearly entering a dystopian era in the total indifference of the masses. Everything is under control, laws, duty, mandatory, prohibited. Cameras are everywhere. After all, if we have nothing to hide, why would we care (irony)? The trend is now to be vegan, to drive a trottinette (Not sure the English word here?? Google translates this by "Electric scooters"), to be a climate goer, a tolerance goer (while spitting on those who thinks otherwise), spitting on white straight men (we are responsible of all the misery of the world. Some loves to flagellate themselves) and so on. If we drive our car, we are ashamed by the community, we are destroying the planet, same goes if we use a plastic bag and a plastic drinking straw (carboard straws are so "great". Joking, it's awful). I live in Brussels and believe me, you don't want to go here anymore. Please, tourists, don't come here anymore, the city is dead, nothing attractive here anymore, they killed it during the past 5 years. When I see what they did to my city I want to cry. Car is banished, they almost grow beets on the streets... when you're not hit by a trotinette around vegan shops. They cut the trees for the climate (!). We are guilty, we are infantilized. Well, that's all for now. People hate me because I'm always so "negative". But how could you be positive when you see what the world is becoming outside? To me, it's like a awakened nightmare and it's getting worse everyday. I am an hypersensitive person, so I feel things deeper than anyone else. And this is becoming unbearable. To my opinion, the asocial medias have a great responsibility for all of this shit. They're all like junkies unable to stay away of their phones taking selfies and photos of their diner while creating insane polemics for someone that didn't fart the proper way. Those people are the "normal" people now. I want to puke. I feel stuck, I suffocate without any chance of getting outside of this. Phone-like technology is killing humanity. The covid didn't kill me (Yes, I had it, not much of a big deal...) but the convid is killing me day after day.
I am so very sorry about what we all are experiencing. I want to say something positive but I would sound to trite and patronizing. I think the only thing I will say is that you are not alone. Because there are like minded people…shrews…here is hope. There is strength in that. Well, I tried not to sound trite but sometimes the truth sounds that way.
It is true. God commands that we be the bright light in the darkness; worry and lamenting and being depressed is “sinful”. I am not a religious person, but as a spiritual being I see his word laid out to us (by us) in ways we best understand. The objectives of the game we created. I believe we are each infinite expressions of divine energy and thus “we” are the light of the world (made in his image). The word “Sin” is used, I believe, to encourage us, as our human beings, not to be a part of that which will not serve us and thus prevent us from bringing the hope of divine expression into a dark world. We created our self-expressions with free will and we created our “rules” as guidelines our human minds are capable of comprehending and these are the true methods by which we bring our message of hope and love forth. I don’t mean to be all woo-woo here; that is not me at all. For me, and I was raised in a southern Christian atmosphere, I quickly realized “God” is the collective energy and power of all of “we”. “He” is not some celestial being we’re earning the right to join with someday if we’re good. We create everything we manifest and experience through our thoughts. Thought creates everything. And look around. Look at what we have created. Who else could have done it? Where are “they”? No, I believe we purposefully experiment with the dichotomy of the created human experience game; we are all the game masters and created light and dark and up and down, positive and negative, to pit against the other in this massive game to see how long it takes us to remember of what we are truly capable and who we are. Only we, the universal energy, driven by our thoughts, can render the outcome we want, which I believe is ultimately reconnection to our selves as one divine, pure thought. So to worry is pointless unless that’s the role in the game we choose to play. To be depressed merely keeps us separated from our one true self. It’s heady stuff but I can’t find another explanation. We can, through the mere changing of our thoughts, change our experience. Collectively, by waking other parts of our “self “up, can add to this collective thought and thus the manifestation. It is not us against them, but us together that will be our “re-membering” of our single self. It’s tough to stay focused on this simple concept amidst the chaos of our human condition, which again, we created intentionally, but I believe that is the key to the end game. We must reunite our perceived, separate selves to our single true self. In this is our power over evil, which we also created for the game. “We “ are obviously in such need of entertainment - I believe this isn’t our first “board game experiment” - that we really created perhaps the ultimate challenge for ourselves and “we” can’t wait to see how it turns out. Cue the popcorn!🍿
Thank you so much for such a beautiful description of what I basically believe. Wow! Made my day. More inspiration for sure.
This is so excellent! Thank you!
There is always room for positive observations...one I do not hesitate to say is that I am certain this will evolve into a very loving and positive and "good" place...there is no doubt...it just may take a while!
As dark as this description is you really summed it up well!! It is horribly sad but what you say here is the way it is many places, and becoming that way in many more.
We do need to stick together and not let is bulldoze us...meet with friends, talk with friends, avoid electronic conveyances, etc. Isolation is the killer. I do not know if there is anyone out there (I'm sure there is) that lives in a house with someone on the other side of the fence. It is doubly difficult to then mingle with people of like mind, or to go to rallies and protests, etc.
Please keep meeting here, no matter where you are in the world, at the very least we all can throw thoughts, feelings, ideas and hopes around...it isn't much, but it is something...
Thanks for the comment! (I love the word "trottinette"!!!)
Unfortunately I do not have friends anymore, just like many here as I read it. I have nobody to talk to, except my therapist that I see twice a month (and he's been on holidays all the summer). My only relations left are a few people on internet and it's very superficial and then a few superficial acquaintances too. And there's my 80's old mom which is super depressed too and that depresses me even more (and stresses me with a touch of guilt). The few people that I tried to suggest to meet for a drink or anything, they always have an excuse to turn me down. Always. My Youtube channel may have 24 000 followers but that's just plein superficial. Having 24 000 people following your work but being completely alone, would you believe this? This is the sadness of this "multimediatic" era. I met a few people at protests here, but I never succeeded to socialize with them. There was a girl there that I liked very much and tried to socialize with her. It worked a bit, we exchanged online and over the phone for quite some time but she never wanted to meet me outside of the protests... turning me down all the time I suggested it. And then she suddenly stopped to write me or even answering the phone. So now, I focus on my music edits, that's mostly all I do at the moment and what's left.
I pretty much hesitated to comment here because reactions of others (much especially on internet) stress me and anguish me. Most of the time people distord and interpret everything from their own fantasy/point of view and it turns crazy most of the time. So, I avoid the max to take part to any discussion online anymore or even to give any opinion or ask something (yeah, even that, people take it badly for some reasons of their own).
I'm sorry to hear how you're struggling! I just wanted to say I think you put into words beautifully what a lot of people, myself included, have been feeling. Given your background, Im sure you know all the cliches and solutions to try to ignite the fire of your soul... so all I wanna say is your Shrews support you !! Don't let "the machine" swallow you from the inside out
That is so kind Carlos...thank you...same goes to you! One day the ring and its curse of power and the renunciation of love will be destroyed, Valhalla will burn making way to a new life of love and spiritual peace. Heady words, but you know what I mean.
Sorry for the misspelling! It was supposed to be “caused” to grow, and sir instead of “air”....don’t know how to edit a comment!!
I think you can edit...let me check...yes, once you save a comment click on the three dots..."Edit Post" should be the first choice...but this choice may be timed and might go away after a few hours...
Good afternoon sir!!
I’m north of the border in Penticton for Ironman tomorrow. If you were here coffee would be on me and I would try not to say repeatedly how honored I would be to meet you.
I get the graying out of what once was so enjoyable, and the incarnation reference to a right on. I’m a police officer and have had to take away liberty but always!!! For a reason based on actions. The person took what didn’t belong to them, hurt someone, drove drunk or high (usually both) and so one. Proper policing is always action based with the goal being a change of behavior. That’s how it’s supposed to work in my book at least. When because of actions a persons liberty is taken away they have the physical restraint of handcuffs, the physical presence of an officer or correctional officer watching them, the reality of being in a building with doors and locks they do not control.
A great crime has been committed against rank and file humans. For no illegal actions on the part of the citizen, our freedom to go and do has been revoked. It is temporarily returned but the cognitive dissolve begins with knowing those who caused it still “rule” and I say that because of our assumptions of our elected leaders carrying out a temporary job of stewardship and service has been betrayed, and they are still in power so how can we go back to a normal that didn’t really exist? We took the normal that should be for granted, we have to make sure somehow it is upheld by new people in power before any return to feeing normal.
Also, the incarnation double take. The prison was our own home, our own electronic communication device, and the discovery how deeply open to being mislead our own family members and friends are. Any relaxing return to “normal “ must instead be looked up as guarded vigilance. Celebrate the shrew community you have closed to grow. Look forward to it growing more still. Hold out hope and love for mislead friends and family but a YouTube video on Dietrich Bonhoeffer’s theory of stupidly suggests that only the mislead can let themselves out of the prison they are in.
Keep your light on air, it shines farther and upon more people than you realize.
I am overwhelmed this Sunday morning reading all of these responses. I feel so much better reading words that make sense, that describe this challenging situation so beautifully. Wow your comments are right on the mark. I am having tears for the third time this morning …sorry, I am a mush ball. Thank you for the words. Yay, Shrews.
The honour would be mine meeting you!! Thank you, that was a very meaningful thing to say.
In this current climate I think being a police officer would be one of the most difficult tasks for someone who constellates the true integrated warrior (you!) My heart goes out to you.
Thanks so much for your wise and well thought out words...we need more like you...
My best friend: maybe talked three times in two years. His sister: I wasn't invited to her wedding.
My parents: My dad won't talk to me anymore. I'm an only child. They moved out of my childhood home last year and wanted me to help. They demanded I get vaxxed. I said no. Here we are.
My circle of friends and colleagues: I'm persona non grata.
Robert Malone is feeling the pain, too.
https://rwmalonemd.substack.com/p/california-here-they-go
Speaking of musical theater: I was staying in Chelsea, NYC (W22nd and 5th) when 9/11 happened. I got on the northbound subway to get to a morning rehearsal in Times Square and wondered why people were on their cell phones. Didn't they know there's no reception down there? I got to rehearsal and saw the second tower collapse.
Corrupt war mongers (who probably captured America in '63) murdered 3000 people on a random Tuesday morning, then killed 3 million Muslims, and then got away with it for twenty years.
But as though that wasn't depressing enough, anybody I talk to thinks I'm crazy lol.
So, yeah, I get it.
BUT! It's sites like yours that make it all worth it. To hear Peter McCullough say "I think there's something wrong with our mainstream media," makes it all worth it. To know that we're living in an inflection point in human history...WOW! I mean, few people would *choose* to go on a roller coaster that will probably kill you, but we were born into this! Not to demean the conversation with a pop culture reference, but there was a great character on the tv show Vikings, who kept going to battles and was depressed every time he didn't get killed. He was very old and just wanted to die in battle to go to Valhalla. But he was too good of a warrior lol. Maybe we need some of that spirit: to know we are on the front lines in a WAR FOR HUMANITY. Bring it.
Thank you for inspiring me this Sunday morning.
Perfect...thank you! And thanks for saying nice things about this substack. The goal here is to get as many of us shrews gathered in one place to discuss stuff. I know it is a drop in the bucket, but that is the intention...not just the articles...but the articles to stimulate these sorts of comments. And most importantly, where we are nice to each other!!
My favourite thing about shrews is that we are fairly consistent...for example, I have not heard from a single Covid shrew who doesn't recognize 9-11 for what it was. I am not saying that if a shrew did not see this the way most of us do that they are out of the club...we have room for anyone...but it wouldn't surprise me.
And I believe we are in a place where deep, inward, personal spiritual yearning for truth and meaning in life has been vilified with ideology-defining tribalism, to the extreme on both sides. It’s, in my opinion, the most base form of instinctual survival. It’s certainly not living. How do we return to ourselves, from where the truth lies? When we’ve sunken to the lowest of our animal nature will we lift our eyes and see who we really are?
Such a good point. The spiritual aspect of all this really is at its centre...even the evil energy is a prime player...if not THE player. I am working on an article on the egregore...keep an eye out for it.
I will! I read your SubStack and Jeff Childers, newly updated to “Coffee & Courage”, each morning with my coffee. Neither disappoints in starting my day off perfectly! Thank you!
Oh wow! I thought I was the only alien here! You echo so many of my thoughts and emotions. I don’t even fully trust my thinking at this point; my soul believes I’m on track and aware, but outwardly I feel, based on the feedback I receive from others that my mind betrays “me” and I feel I don’t belong to any tribe of humans at this state in time. This quick explanation is very rustic, I see as I write it, and you may see me as disturbed. I am disturbed. I’m depressed, deflated, dehumanized and totally lonely in my feeling of separateness from those around me. I think perhaps if I were to just stop reading about things, perhaps I could, in time, just roll with the life illusion as so many of whom I term “sheep” seem to do. But my soul knows I can never un-know that of which I’m clearly aware. I tell myself I have no right or authority to believe I’m more aware or informed than “the other side” as they claim I’m a conspiracy theorist and I follow radical idiots. I get the eye rolls if I mention anything I’ve learned. My personal life and relationships have been diminished to speaking only of shallow nothingness; the “shrews” who bought into it and discovered too late their misstep can’t admit it and just don’t want to think about it. And the “sheep” are too invested to even consider opening their eyes and minds and must stay true to their ideological tribe for their survival. I truly feel like I no longer have a place to be.
I do believe that this is a time to go “deeper” into spiritual awareness. I thought at the beginning of your first comments that you were about to go further on this subject. We actually have no where else to go except deeper inwardly! Sorry, I am sounding like I am giving “advice”…gosh no way. I am in such awe of your comments and the others on this page…incredible people all of you. I am so glad I visited shrewviews this morning…I have been away and need to visit more often. Total inspiration.
Your comment here Cyn makes the article I wrote completely worth writing. Thank you...what you express here is EXACTLY what I was trying to say! And it is good for me to hear you say it!
I found this George Orwell quote at the beginning of all of this insanity and it stuck with me.
"Being in a minority, even in a minority of one, does not make you mad. There is truth, and there is untruth, and if you cling to the truth even against the whole world, you are not mad."
In my interview with JermWarfare I remember responding to something Jerm said about "how do we know we are not the crazy ones, the sheep all think we are..." and I commented "because we are right, they aren't." A rather flippant reply, because of course the sheep think they are right too...but that reply is really right on.
I will never believe censorship is right, or the president of the United States lying to us is right, or the Premier of Canada freezing bank accounts of peacefully protesting citizens is right, or vaccinating children who do not need a vaccine that could be dangerous for them is right. I hold onto those things, and logic reasoning says that if these people would do those things they will do other things that are wrong...
Have you ever noticed that whenever there is an argument on the sheep side they never argue with science? But the shrews always do? Science and detail is always part of a shrew position, sheep just attack the messenger, or align them with some ridiculous "negative" like being a republican or liking Trump.
Anyway...I digress. The feeling you describe, and the gist of the article, is not something that can be changed with logic. It is very deep, and I am worried about it...I just suppose it is just something we have to deal with...