Yes my sons were born in 1999 and 2004. One is in the process of becoming Orthodox Christian and the other is likely to marry a Japanese woman and possibly live there (he speaks Japanese due to spending a year of high school there).
Another key to my approach was strong connections to my parents’ generation which includes several great uncles. And my dad lived with us … a WW2 veteran.
To some extent I admire the results of my LDS cousins in Utah. Big close families and all the adult children stay in Utah. But that was not my path.
I could see society was crashing but the speed has been pretty stunning.
Yes, the culture is similar to a skeleton riddled with bone cancer...it takes a while, but once really set it bones start to crack and shatter.
My step daughter went to Japan as an exchange student in University, and then went to get her Masters there...and has lived there ever since...she and her BF just bought a condo outside of Tokyo...her mother is beside herself with missing her, but of course she is happy her daughter is happy. I've always said that mothers get the crap end of the stick...the sacrifice you make even with "healthy children" is immense.
I've often thought of the Mormon life in the same way, although I do nothing it is as idyllic as it seems...but maybe it is!
Just tonight, we were eating in a restaurant but couldn't take our eyes off the table across from us. A multi generational family - mother, grandmother, and kids. One kid in particular sat there with headphones on while playing a mindless video game on his phone. And the older people did nothing. Where is the discipline, or the threats to "put that fucking thing down and join the conversation or you will never be invited out again." I can't believe people just let it happen. It's infuriating and depressing.
I think the only thing that can help us is adherence to ancient, dare I say, biblical principles.
We live in raw sewage right now.
I heard a psychologist saying that porn--especially males watching it--is meant to emmasculate men. It's what conquering soldiers did to the vanquished--made them sit and watch while they raped their women.
All of these seemingly small things have cut us all off from a healthy, thriving culture.
But there is a way out--be in the world but not of it.
Yes, being "in the world but not of it" is essential.
And although I am not a Bible scholar, I do believe much that is in the Bible is Truth.
Interesting comment about porn. Porn, in my view, is a problem the same way heroin, cocaine, or other "addictive substances" is a problem. Sure, there IS a moral element to it, but that applies more to the people who create it, and participate in it. To the observers, the customers, the moral part is the denigration of sex as a sacred encounter. It becomes pure obsession, pure satisfaction of physical pressures. (Well, actually that is not wholly true, there is a thirst for the intimate that the customers of porn are looking to quench, but doing so with porn is like drinking saltwater to quench thirst for water.)
I think forcing men to watch their women be raped is an altogether different form of torture and has nothing to do with pornography.
“secularization of sex“ What do you mean by that? Detachment from original intent? A form of entertainment?
I think a lot of our current problems began with the separation of sex from affection and an expression of commitment. When sex became merely a biological function, it lost that meaning and the responsibility attached.
There’s so much here, and you know me-I have an opinion Lol, but I’ll wait for someone else to express it
You pretty much said it here. I believe sex, between two humans, is intended as a divine act, a realization of unity consciousness through the physical engagement with another human. It is one way to look into the face of God.
That element of sex has been stripped away from the act by the culture (dare I say "agenda"?) Thus the "secularization of sex"...turning it into a financial commodity for one thing. Affection, commitment, even creating another life through the act are all divine elements of it that the culture is doing its best to eliminate.
The irony about it is that most people know this in their heart. They know that having sexual relationship with another human is not purely biological, it isn't about "getting off"...they can do that part on their own (porn!). But the culture is continually teaching them that the only point in sex is a biological function, some say it has no more import than that. Millions of young men and women are taught this every day.
Sex not love making is a function of today's society. Use and be used or that is how it looks to me. It is so easy to have one night stands or multiple, multiple partners. How can there be any beauty in that? This is no better than animalistic behaviour. It isn't that I am prescribing everyone to be a nun but come on.......... :)
People were brainwashed into this thinking. I was one of those people. I’m 60 now, but I can honestly look back and SEE it. I see exactly what was done, starting in the 1960’s, post WWII.
Agreed. But this has been going on for quite some time. I recently read an article (actually I think it was a clip with Jordan Peterson) that was discussing how "The Pill" has made it more difficult for women to "say no" to sex. At least at one time there was a risk of pregnancy. Of course that should NOT be the reason women say "no"!! But I thought it was an interesting point.
Cell phones and all the things you mentioned at the beginning of your article are what I call traps. You are right it was a slow and steady takeover of people's lives and then one day (maybe) you look up from a dazed state and clue in (sometimes) that you are in the trap but mostly this doesn't happen. Yesterday I had gathered with friends and 2 of the male friends could barely put their phone down to enjoy the 'present' moment of eating, talking and laughing with everyone else. I see my granddaughter who is barely 13 on her phone and it is really sad to think how much time she obsesses about it. We are morally bankrupt for the most part - not everyone - but society is.
I’d have a rule: no cells phones at the table when at a restaurant. It’s classless. If you need to take a call, go outside. This should be especially true for children, young people, let alone adults. It’s cringe for sure!
I’d have a rule: no cells phones at the table when at a restaurant. It’s classless. If you need to take a call, go outside. This should be especially true for children, young people, let alone adults. It’s cringe for sure!
A major thing that has truly helped me, is being in Nature. Nature has “saved” me.
I was forced to retire March 1, 2021 for no CONvid compliance.
I started walking daily, alone, no music, etc.-about 5 miles/day. It became a part of my “new life”. I fed birds, squirrels, meditate alone, and I’m in awe of the beauty of simple things…bugs, the wind, clouds! All the things many of us take for granted. The simplicity is amazing to me…and it’s FREE!🐿️🦅🌞🌻🪺🌲
You said it...it is the first thing I suggest to psychotherapy clients...commune with nature, take walks, but not in the neighborhood, in the forest, along the empty beach...in the mountains. Listen to the birds, the animals, feel the wind...just as you are doing, and NO MUSIC or PODCASTS!!!!
Yes, they ARE traps. And it wasn't until recently that I realized there is someone, or some thing, setting those traps. The bait (carrot) is enticing, the consequence (stick) devastating.
My strategy was:
Small private school with like minded parents
Conservative church
No TV
Daily walks in nature
Strict limits on media
Outdoor summer nature camps
Moved to rural property on acreage outside small town and homeschooled my youngest in conservative Christian homeschool community
Traveled internationally to give broader perspective (and my husband is European)
Started raising/growing half of our own food
In recent years I started wishing I was in a much more remote location and in a red state
And you managed to pull this off? How long ago did you start? Wow...how impressive!!! Good for you! And for your children!!
Yes my sons were born in 1999 and 2004. One is in the process of becoming Orthodox Christian and the other is likely to marry a Japanese woman and possibly live there (he speaks Japanese due to spending a year of high school there).
Another key to my approach was strong connections to my parents’ generation which includes several great uncles. And my dad lived with us … a WW2 veteran.
To some extent I admire the results of my LDS cousins in Utah. Big close families and all the adult children stay in Utah. But that was not my path.
I could see society was crashing but the speed has been pretty stunning.
Yes, the culture is similar to a skeleton riddled with bone cancer...it takes a while, but once really set it bones start to crack and shatter.
My step daughter went to Japan as an exchange student in University, and then went to get her Masters there...and has lived there ever since...she and her BF just bought a condo outside of Tokyo...her mother is beside herself with missing her, but of course she is happy her daughter is happy. I've always said that mothers get the crap end of the stick...the sacrifice you make even with "healthy children" is immense.
I've often thought of the Mormon life in the same way, although I do nothing it is as idyllic as it seems...but maybe it is!
Just tonight, we were eating in a restaurant but couldn't take our eyes off the table across from us. A multi generational family - mother, grandmother, and kids. One kid in particular sat there with headphones on while playing a mindless video game on his phone. And the older people did nothing. Where is the discipline, or the threats to "put that fucking thing down and join the conversation or you will never be invited out again." I can't believe people just let it happen. It's infuriating and depressing.
Yes, we should all know better...you do, of course...
All done by design.
“ Art of War” Sun Tzu
Yup
Agreed.
I think the only thing that can help us is adherence to ancient, dare I say, biblical principles.
We live in raw sewage right now.
I heard a psychologist saying that porn--especially males watching it--is meant to emmasculate men. It's what conquering soldiers did to the vanquished--made them sit and watch while they raped their women.
All of these seemingly small things have cut us all off from a healthy, thriving culture.
But there is a way out--be in the world but not of it.
Yes, being "in the world but not of it" is essential.
And although I am not a Bible scholar, I do believe much that is in the Bible is Truth.
Interesting comment about porn. Porn, in my view, is a problem the same way heroin, cocaine, or other "addictive substances" is a problem. Sure, there IS a moral element to it, but that applies more to the people who create it, and participate in it. To the observers, the customers, the moral part is the denigration of sex as a sacred encounter. It becomes pure obsession, pure satisfaction of physical pressures. (Well, actually that is not wholly true, there is a thirst for the intimate that the customers of porn are looking to quench, but doing so with porn is like drinking saltwater to quench thirst for water.)
I think forcing men to watch their women be raped is an altogether different form of torture and has nothing to do with pornography.
Very good. Thank you.
“secularization of sex“ What do you mean by that? Detachment from original intent? A form of entertainment?
I think a lot of our current problems began with the separation of sex from affection and an expression of commitment. When sex became merely a biological function, it lost that meaning and the responsibility attached.
There’s so much here, and you know me-I have an opinion Lol, but I’ll wait for someone else to express it
You pretty much said it here. I believe sex, between two humans, is intended as a divine act, a realization of unity consciousness through the physical engagement with another human. It is one way to look into the face of God.
That element of sex has been stripped away from the act by the culture (dare I say "agenda"?) Thus the "secularization of sex"...turning it into a financial commodity for one thing. Affection, commitment, even creating another life through the act are all divine elements of it that the culture is doing its best to eliminate.
The irony about it is that most people know this in their heart. They know that having sexual relationship with another human is not purely biological, it isn't about "getting off"...they can do that part on their own (porn!). But the culture is continually teaching them that the only point in sex is a biological function, some say it has no more import than that. Millions of young men and women are taught this every day.
Yes
Sex not love making is a function of today's society. Use and be used or that is how it looks to me. It is so easy to have one night stands or multiple, multiple partners. How can there be any beauty in that? This is no better than animalistic behaviour. It isn't that I am prescribing everyone to be a nun but come on.......... :)
People were brainwashed into this thinking. I was one of those people. I’m 60 now, but I can honestly look back and SEE it. I see exactly what was done, starting in the 1960’s, post WWII.
Agreed. But this has been going on for quite some time. I recently read an article (actually I think it was a clip with Jordan Peterson) that was discussing how "The Pill" has made it more difficult for women to "say no" to sex. At least at one time there was a risk of pregnancy. Of course that should NOT be the reason women say "no"!! But I thought it was an interesting point.
Cell phones and all the things you mentioned at the beginning of your article are what I call traps. You are right it was a slow and steady takeover of people's lives and then one day (maybe) you look up from a dazed state and clue in (sometimes) that you are in the trap but mostly this doesn't happen. Yesterday I had gathered with friends and 2 of the male friends could barely put their phone down to enjoy the 'present' moment of eating, talking and laughing with everyone else. I see my granddaughter who is barely 13 on her phone and it is really sad to think how much time she obsesses about it. We are morally bankrupt for the most part - not everyone - but society is.
I’d have a rule: no cells phones at the table when at a restaurant. It’s classless. If you need to take a call, go outside. This should be especially true for children, young people, let alone adults. It’s cringe for sure!
That's good...we seemed to have been able to be without these things for centuries before...
At home while eating with others too. It annoys the heck out of me when I see some of our family doing so.
I’d have a rule: no cells phones at the table when at a restaurant. It’s classless. If you need to take a call, go outside. This should be especially true for children, young people, let alone adults. It’s cringe for sure!
A major thing that has truly helped me, is being in Nature. Nature has “saved” me.
I was forced to retire March 1, 2021 for no CONvid compliance.
I started walking daily, alone, no music, etc.-about 5 miles/day. It became a part of my “new life”. I fed birds, squirrels, meditate alone, and I’m in awe of the beauty of simple things…bugs, the wind, clouds! All the things many of us take for granted. The simplicity is amazing to me…and it’s FREE!🐿️🦅🌞🌻🪺🌲
You said it...it is the first thing I suggest to psychotherapy clients...commune with nature, take walks, but not in the neighborhood, in the forest, along the empty beach...in the mountains. Listen to the birds, the animals, feel the wind...just as you are doing, and NO MUSIC or PODCASTS!!!!
Yes, they ARE traps. And it wasn't until recently that I realized there is someone, or some thing, setting those traps. The bait (carrot) is enticing, the consequence (stick) devastating.