Canadian Ninnies

[My dear Canadian readers, a quick disclaimer before we dive in: Please forgive my sharp tongue toward my fellow Canucks in the piece that follows. I hold dual citizenship—Canadian and American—and arrived here fifteen years ago utterly enchanted by this country’s core spirit. I adored the people, the history, and everything Canada represented (except maybe its government, as I am not pleased with governments anywhere). That hasn’t truly faded. But I do sense a shift in some fundamental behaviours—not just up here, but among Americans too, and across much of the Western world. So, cut me some slack if this ruffles your Canada Goose feathers. This is mostly satire; I am making fun of everyone. I still love you all, eh?]

With all due respect to what used to be a very respectable country and body of humans called Canadians: Canada now sucks. And of course it isn’t it’s people who suck, it is the government, as usual. That said, the people are not totally free of responsibility—they are obviously sucked in, they obviously believe most of the garbage the Liberal government shoves down their throat. But still, as in America and most other places, people shouldn’t be this stupid, but they obviously are.